UN effort to create International Anti-Terrorism Day ends in a stalemate

Geneva: A United Nations led effort to create an 'International Anti-Terrorism Day' resulted in a stalemate after member countries of the UN general assembly failed to reach a consensus on the choice of the day of the year to be observed as World Anti-Terrorism Day.

A motion to declare September the eleventh of every year as the day to mark International day against terrorism was tabled by US ambassador to the UN, Susan Rice. But the motion was opposed by Indian ambassador to UN, Nirupam Sen who urged members of the UN to vote for 26/11 as International Anti-Terrorism Day. "United States being the sole superpower of the world at the time of WTC attacks had marketed the 9/11 attacks better than us or any other country of the world that has suffered the scourge of terrorism. But now we are a rising power and have learnt to market our terror attacks to the world as effectively as US. In terms of sensation and headline-grabbing value, the 26/11 terror attacks onTaj Hotel were not less effective than the 9/11 attacks. We let a small bunch of Pakistani terrorists run amok for nearly 60 hours allowing TV channels from all over the world provide 'live' non-stop coverage of the event fueling unprecedented interest in the attacks in world media."

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IndiaTV discovers why Bakhtiyaar Irani cries so much

Onionuttapam.com ties up with IndiaTV to bring you the latest in Breaking News, Cracking News, Smashing News, Creative News, Weird News, Imaginary News, World-is-ending News, News-that-makes-you-roll-your-eyes, News-from-out-of-the-world, News-from-under-the-world, News-from-nowhere-world and News-from-beyond-the-world.

IndiaTV has solved the mystery of Bigg Boss 3 contestant, Bakhtiyaar Irani's incessant crying at the drop of the hat in comparison to the calmness and composure of his 3-year old son, Zeus Irani

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Sachin fan knows more about Sachin than his own self

With television channels, newspapers and Internet conversations abuzz with tributes, homages and eulogies dedicated to the celebration of 20 years of international cricketing life of the supreme master, the undisputed god of the game of cricket, Sachin Tendulkar, we experienced an uncontrollable urge to interview the phenomenal deity of our times. But since deities are not accessible to little-known obscure websites, the urge to question the great god of the game had to be diverted towards interviewing one of his devotees. Raghu Deshmukh is one such devotee, an ardent, impassioned fan of the cricketer and considers him as one of the all-time greatest legends to have walked on the face of the earth.

Delighted at being interviewed about the man he admires most in his life, Raghu soon launched into a long soliloquy outlining the qualities that make Sachin Tendulkar the epitome of magnificence. The interview turned out to be more boring than we had imagined with Raghu repeating the stuff we have read and heard countless times in thousands of articles, blogs, interviews, sound-bytes and cricket commentaries over the last two decades. Bored at his incessant recitations of paeans sung in the glory of his idol, we decided to change our tracks and started quizzing him..

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Austerity - Mukesh Ambani Ishtyle!

Anything our government can do, India's richest man can do it better. Recently in news for voluntarily deciding to take a hefty 66% pay-cut, Mukesh Dhirubhai Ambani has set a personal example of moderation. Not one to rest on his laurels, Mukesh Ambani is keen to take his austerity drive on an entirely new orbit. Yesterday evening at a press conference held at his company headquarters, Ambani announced a series of measures that will set new standards of austerity making him Asia's most austere billionaire.

"Our government has taken admirable measures to curb wasteful expenditure. In my view, not just ministers even corporate heads should travel economy. Taking a leaf out of our government's austerity drive, I've decided that from now onwards me and my wife will only travel by economy class. I'm going to create a special economy class in the luxury Airbus 319 jet that I had gifted to my dearest wife on her birthday. I, my wife and my kids will only travel using this section of our private jet." said Mukesh Ambani.

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Liverpool FC is no more

n what has turned out to be the most shocking news of the footballing world, the public has been informed on 10 October 2009 that Liverpool FC passed away while making hay in the deserts of Saudi Arabia. Since the unexpected end came in the oil land of Arabia, the funeral has been held as per Islamic norms and it is rumored that good old Liverpool was given a farewell under the Arabic name of Al-Liverpool bin futbool (which our in-house linguistics expert decodes the name as Liverpool the son of football). The death has send shock waves in the soccer world while good old Tommy and Georgey (the co-owners of the now deceased Liverpool FC) is still waiting for the Vodka order in the Al Drunk bin Drunk bar in Saudi Arabia to pour out their emotions.

[Editor's Note: Before we gone with this rather exclusive news, the editorial team would like to inform you all that due to the excessive cost of printing charges and the freelance writer’s exorbitant writing charges per word, the article will be addressing Al-Liverpool bin futbool as LBF]

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Nobel from Hell!

With the over whelming success of natural catastrophes and full fledged wars, it was always going to be tough to find the true hero, the man who would stand against it all and challenge the odds to be the One and only one saviour a.k.a the survivor.

It is never easy to select and honor that one special individual. It takes more than just experiences in life and achievements on the earth to select and recognize the amazing talents of such a great survivor. So was the case on the dawn of 9 October 2009, the Nobel Committee was in complete disarray, the Vodka was long gone, the chairman was searching for the nominees list and there was no water in the toilet and the only cigars left were just 4 wrinkled dicks. It was then the Committee decided that they leave it all to people who have more than just experiences in life and achievements on the earth and so as the sun rose from the east, the new members of the Nobel Committee took their places:

1. Joseph Stalin (The Chairman): An extraordinary leader with a highly evolved below-par human sensitivity. The true and loyal ambassador of the GULAG Trust.
2. Golda Meir: A very soft spoken Jew. Humbled by her achievements. She never made a move against any person or nation during her tenure in politics. She is the loyal servant to the now defunct Operation NukeBayonet.
3. Pol Pot: A God fearing man with superb economic and social visions. A dedicated and loyal Khmer Rougeian citizen.
4. Alfred Nobel: A man who had no intentions of harm but dynamited his charm. A super brain and now all set to become a spoil sport. He was the founder of the recently deceased Nobel Prize Committee and now just an ordinary member of the reconstituted committee.
5. Gavrilo Princip: The odd man out. A great visionary who loved the Archduke and a true patriot. He is the loyal mascot of the PDCC (Post Dated Cyanide Consumption) Victims.

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Obama wins Ig Nobel Prize in Chemistry for inventing Placebo Piss

After winning Nobel Peace Prize, US President Barack Obama has collected another shining medal to his award collection. He was awarded the Ig Nobel prize in chemistry for inventing 'Placebo Piss', a new type of piss that flows not from the urinary tract, but from the mouth of the pisser. At the award ceremony held at Boston, Obama was awarded the honor for his remarkable ability to generate piss from his mouth and also for pissing off many millions around the world by winning Nobel Peace Prize without doing anything substantial in his initial months of presidency.

Also called as Pretense Piss, Pseudo Piss, Mouthful of Piss and Hot Piss, it is sometimes misspelled as 'Peace' which could have been one of the reasons, the Nobel Peace Prize Committee made the historical blunder and awarded him this year's Nobel Peace Prize.

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