Dec 7, 2006

Report: Pakistan & India Just Enjoy Bilateral Talks over Kashmir

Report: Pakistan & Inda Just Enjoy Bilateral Talks over Kashmir

December 1, 2006

WASHINGTON, DC—The Council of Foreign Relations published a report Friday evening revealing what the international community has long suspected: The governments of India & Pakistan simply enjoy bilateral talks on the status of Kashmir. "

After years of protracted talks about kashmiris right for self-determination, status of PoK, cross-border terrorism and withdrawal of Indian troops from Indian-held Kashmir, it's become increasingly evident that India & Pakistan's inability to move forward on the Kashmir dispute and their constant reversion to age-old standspoints stem from a deep desire to chat about Kashmir" said Ambassador Robert B. Oakley, former chief of Strategic Studies Institute.

"We are beginning to think that behind all this brinksmanship, diplomatic, military & nuclear standoffs, threats and counterthreats are a dozen high-level career bureaucrats, diplomats, defence analysts and politicians who enjoy getting together, kicking back, enjoying iftaar parties and making a weekend out of it." Although India's Prime Minister Manmohan Singh made no comment on the report, members of his cabinet said they "would be delighted" to get together and discuss the matter further. 

Dec 2, 2006

Navjot Sidhu not very perturbed over conviction

December 2, New Delhi: Former test cricketer and ace commentator Navjot Singh Sidhu was reported to be unperturbed after being convicted for culpable homicide by the Punjab and Haryana High Court on Friday.

Talking to reporter of Onionuttappam today, Mr. Sidhu said that he would very soon file an appeal against the verdict in the Supreme Court of India and was confident that he would be successful in draging the case for another 11 years till about the year 2017. Sidhu reminded our reporter that while the alleged incident took place on December 1988, his then lawyers not only quite skillfully managed to drag on the case for a period of 11 years uptil September 1999, but also manage to get him acquited of all charges.

Mr.Siddhu expressed his disappointment that his present lawyer was unable to draw out the case till 2010. "Quite frankly, I had expected that my lawyer would be able to stretch the hearings and the final verdict till atleast 2010. I'm very disappointed"

When our reporter contacted his lawyer Mr.Makhan Singh, he flared up blaming the recent political turn of events for the premature verdict announced by the High Court. "It is very unfortunate that due to certain events totally unconnected to the case of my client, my client had to suffer the ignominy of being held guilty of culpable homicide" said Mr.Singh off the record to our reporter. He further explained that it was the verdict in the case of Shibu Soren that ultimately turned the tables for my client. "Had Shibu Soren not been held guilty for murdering his secretary, thereby putting the congress party in an embarrassing situation of having to fend attacks from BJP, it's very unlikely that they would have pressurised the judge in our case to announce his verdict so untimely."

But Mr.Sidhu would have none of the excuses. "I'm not just shocked by the failure to prolong the case, but also by the failure of my lawyer to get a 'not guilty' verdict. If Ram Jethmalani is able to convince his judge that the murderer of Jessica Lal was not Manu Sharma, but a red-turbaned Sikh gentleman, then why couldn't my lawyer prove to the court that Gurnam Singh died not of brain haemorrage, but of a cardiac arrest? Why wasn't he able to convince the judge that the fatal blow that killed Gurnam Singh was employed only and only by my friend Rupinder Singh, while I was actually pleading him to act with restraint?" he fumed.

Mr.Sidhu was quite convinced that his conviction was a result of incompetence of his lawyer and was determined that while appealing against the verdict, he would use only the services of a seasoned lawyer like Ram Jethmalani who he believed would successfully be able to prove that Gurnam Singh died of a cardiac attack and also shift the burden of guilt to his friend Rupinder Singh or probably some another red-turbaned gentleman on the scene.

But at the same time, he hoped that during the period between 2014-2016, which is when he expects the Supreme Court to announce the verdict of his appeal, the BJP would be in power at the centre. "Though I have full faith in our highest judiciary and expect a positive verdict after 11 years, it would be very helpful to have a BJP government at the centre to prevent the possibility of a repeat of the present miscarriage of justice" he thundered.

On a side note, OnionUttapam recieved several complains from television viewers that NDTV had completely blacked out the news of conviction of Mr.Sidhu. When our reporter contacted NDTV and asked why such an important news-story involving such a high-profile celebrity found no mention in any of NDTV's news reports, we recieved an email reply with this message "We do not believe Mr.Sidhu can be held responsible for culpable homicide. We are convinced that it was an unfortunate accident and despite the verdict, we would like to give the benefit of doubt to Mr.Sidhu. Besides, before finalizing the contract with him, we had signed an agreement with him that on no account he would get himself convicted by any court of law. But in case, he still manages to get himself convicted, then NDTV has a right to not broadcast this news on any of its news channels."