|Press Release| The Nuclear Liability Bill is in our National Interests

(Contributed by Anand Bala)

It has been proven that Global Warming was a liberal conspiracy to screw us over. Out of every 1000 pages of scientific reports published on global warming you will find two complete sentences that quote an inappropriate source! After such monumental oversight, the urban Naxals now want to deny us a right to nuclear energy by criminalizing industrial accidents incidents. Why should we let them have their way?

Nuclear incidents pose NO threat (e.g. Chernobyl)

• After the minor leak in Chernobyl, the dirty red communists in Russia used scare tactics to evacuate residents from the area.
• The real reason for evacuation was not nuclear radiation but faulty Geiger counters produced in socialist factories that showed up vast quantities of radiation when there was actually no radiation. We all know that factories with unions produce faulty goods.
• Since all residents were evacuated there is no way to prove that several generations will be affected by the incident. Any genetic mutation amongst animals in the region has to be put down to Darwin’s theory of evolution.
• More importantly, Chernoby happened before Google (BG) putting it so far in the past that it loses all relevance.

Nuclear technology is safer than air-travel

• More people die when travelling to the airport than do people of nuclear radiation. (If there is such a thing as death by Radiation).
• For the enviro-terrorists reading this – apples and oranges are both fruits. They can and should be compared. By the way..some cancers can be cured and to include them as a potent side-effect is unfair.

Bhopal is a Red Herring

• Bhopal remains a vibrant city with great music, art and even a theatre scene.
• Like in every other Indian city, a few people in Bhopal are blind and few more have cancer.
• Dow chemicals and Union Carbide have never been convicted with criminal liability in any court and are hence innocent.
• It’s been 25 years since the disaster, it’s time we admit that Union Carbide has a halo around their heads.
• The fact that reputable senior lawyers defend Union Carbide vehemently in trial courts in criminal proceedings proves their innocence. Lawyers such as these should be made into spokespeople for the Nuclear Liability bill. They understand how painful criminal proceedings can be for companies that act in India’s National Interests.
• Union Carbide may have known that the technology that they used in Bhopal was risky. So what? Every business has risks. Do you want us to become a society where the general public gets to participate in business decisions? Financial business risks have nothing to do with their lives! Only shareholders and management should have a right to opinion in such matters.
• Business leaders have said that it is unfair to make Dow Chemicals clean up the mess at the Union Carbide plant. We need to put our faith behind such stalwarts who are leading the fight against anti-democratic elements (such as illiterate filthy tribals who don’t want to give up their land for the cause of development). There will be resistance when we need to open up more open-cast Uranium mines and we need to be prepared.

Why worry about the water table? There are alternatives!

• We all know that bottled water is the future. So what if we drop a few chemicals into the water table – Beverage companies will be able to give us amazing drinking water from places like Plachimada.
• Privatizing our water distribution system and giving it to folks like Bechtel can guarantee urban India all the water they need.
• Rainwater harvesting is for the communists.
• E.g. - A recent incident where contaminated heavy after was mixed with drinking water at a nuclear plant was contained very well. Nobody died from drinking heavy water in that incident.QED.

Seizing the competitive advantage

• For more than a few years now, the US has not commissioned a new nuclear reactor.
• This shows their lack of foresight when it comes to growing energy needs.
• We need to beat China at everything and at any cost.
• In case of the highly unlikely event of a nuclear incident, we have the medical skills to cope with things like cleft-lips, genetic deformities and cancers. IF they occur, we can cure them.

Let us be democratic about Nuclear Liability

• When we can’t demand a guarantee from our watermelon vendor, why should we demand a guarantee from the guys who build a nuclear reactor?
• Democracy is about equality and furthering free enterprise isn’t it? All vendors should be equal in the eyes of the law.

It’s about Dharma and Karma

• Let us for a second assume that Nuclear technology is risky. If there is an incident, we know that vendors will take measures to fix the problem in future power plants. Everybody makes mistakes and can learn from them. Nuclear technology vendors need not be made into criminals for accidental mistakes.
• Based on the above assumption, a few people may be exposed to radiation that is supposedly dangerous. If anything like this does happen we must assess the karma of the people who are affected. Dharma demands that people who have bad Karma face the consequences of their actions in previous lives. You can’t blame the vendor for that. Such blame-games would harm the sentiments of the majority.
• We all know that opponents to the bill are either violent naxals or enviro terrorists or ISI agents.

How can you help get the Nuclear Liability Bill passed?

• Corruption is illegal but lobbying is not!
  Get your MP to stop listening to Indian environment groups and scientists. The EPA is giving grants to people who can work within the system to create civil recourse as opposed to criminal recourse. Please get you parliamentarian to listen to people who have funding from the EPA. After all if they are supported by American EPA, they must have our interests in mind.
  
• Direct Action! Talk to your local Resident's Welfare Association, MLA, MP and Corparator. Ask them to set aside land for a Nuclear Reactor in your neighbourhood. We must lead by example! It would be wonderful if the good folks of Koramangala, Banjara Hills and Cuffe Parade show us the way by proving that nuclear reactors are safe for their children.
  
  
• Do not attend any Communist and/or Naxal Events. We need to become a nation of pragmatic realists concerned with National Interests. Urban Naxalities are romanticising the nuclear liability debate. They are doing this by incorrectly focussing attention on the risks associated with the complete nuclear lifecycle. Organizations like the Environment Support Group, The Corporate Accountability Desk and The Alternative Law Forum may organize seminars to discuss the Nuclear Liability issue. Please spread the word about these events and encourage people not to attend.

Issued in Public National Interest by:

Society for The Prevention of Cruelty to Nuclear Technology Vendors (STPCNTV)

Note – STPCNTV was Established on April 1 and is an unregistered institution with one member.

Cracking News Special Update on Earth Hour

What was it?

It was billed as one hour of darkness, when lights would be switched off all over the world voluntarily as a symbolic effort to reduce electricity consumption and fight global warming. The chosen hour was 8 o clock on the 29th of March, 2008.

Did it make a difference?

Yes. 24 global cities participated in the earth hour. These 24 cities reduced their power consumption during the day by 2.32 %, slightly below the expected reduction of 5-10%. But unfortunately, 2400 global cities and towns that did not sign up, exceeded their normal electricity consumption by 2.32 % (resulting in 1000% more power consumption as compared to power saved during the day) due to concentrated efforts by concerned and enthusiastic activists (including our very own netman - Usman Ali) in these towns and cities to spread the message of earth hour through emails, forums and blogs, which resulted in extra computer usage by both the concerned activists and the unconcerned readers of the emails, blogs and forum messages.

Who made the difference?

Many Important Movers & Shakers

Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin airlines accepted the Saturday 29 March global Earth Hour challenge, by pledging to shut off the lights at the massive Charity Hangar Ball hosted by Virgin Blue, Australia's low fare airline . The carbon-belching airline proudly announced it would "take on" the global Earth Hour challenge by shutting off the lights during the charity ball.

But unfortunately for Sir Branson, some party-poopers pointed out that more energy could have been saved had the massive party with a guest list of 3000 guests and 500 event staff, been canceled instead. (Almost 97% of the guests were non-Brisbanites who flew into the city specially for the event, using transportation services of carbon-emitting airliners.) That didn't deter the airliner from proudly describing the logistics challenge to transform he Brisbane hangar into a ballroom for 3000 guests.

"With no kitchens on site, tons of equipment is trucked (my emphasis) in, including ovens, cold rooms, chairs, tables, crockery, cutlery and glassware to enable preparation and service.Construction of the dance floor, audio visual wall, lighting , staging, bathrooms and provision for bands . . . will take place over three days," the airliner's publicity statement proudly disclosed.

No mention was made about the statistics of power consumption or carbon unleashed during the charity ball, which party-poopers say was 1000% more than the power saved during the hour the lights were shut off at the hanger.

Another important contributer to the cause of Earth Hour was celebrity socialite Paris Hilton. In the tradition of PETA activists going nude to protest against fur coats, Paris Hilton posed in nude during the earth hour as a symbolic gesture of shedding excess consumption of resources. But this gesture backfired, as this form of load-shedding led to millions of her fans spending extra time on their computers downloading her nude pictures.

But the maximum difference was made by billions of poorest and most underprivileged citizens of earth who were not even aware of the event. These are the people who don't consume power at all because they live in remote villages and hamlets having no electricity. Second on the list of those who made a real difference were consumers of power in thousands of towns and cities in developing countries like India which face regular power outages and daily load-shedding ranging from couple of hours to 12 hours a day.

Since these billions of unfortunates make involuntary contributions towards fighting global warming, no one cared to salute or congratulate them for their lifelong sacrifices and contributions to the cause of mother earth.

Will it make a difference in future?

Yes. All those who missed out taking part in this year's earth hour, will get a chance to make it a success a year later. On the earthhour.org website, there’s already a place for you to sign up for the 2009 event, which will fall on March 29. The organizers of the event are counting on you to raise the percentage of energy saved on 29th March 2009 to 3% from this years 2.32%. The organizers also hope that till next year's event arrives, activists will devote more time and effort to increase awareness about earth hour using all available mediums and resources, which will hopefully lead to around 35-40 global cities participating in Earth hour 2009.

We, at Cracking News, are counting on our politicians and authorities to break their promises of improved power supply. We expect the power crisis to get worse during this hot summer, which will lead to more power-cuts and load-shedding. The quantum of energy saved due to the inability of our government to solve the power crisis is expected to be millions of times more than all the electricity saved from all the earth hours from now till the end of the world.