What was it?
It was billed as one hour of darkness, when lights would be switched off all over the world voluntarily as a symbolic effort to reduce electricity consumption and fight global warming. The chosen hour was 8 o clock on the 29th of March, 2008.
Did it make a difference?
Yes. 24 global cities participated in the earth hour. These 24 cities reduced their power consumption during the day by 2.32 %, slightly below the expected reduction of 5-10%. But unfortunately, 2400 global cities and towns that did not sign up, exceeded their normal electricity consumption by 2.32 % (resulting in 1000% more power consumption as compared to power saved during the day) due to concentrated efforts by concerned and enthusiastic activists (including our very own netman - Usman Ali) in these towns and cities to spread the message of earth hour through emails, forums and blogs, which resulted in extra computer usage by both the concerned activists and the unconcerned readers of the emails, blogs and forum messages.
Who made the difference?
Many Important Movers & Shakers
Sir Richard Branson, founder of Virgin airlines accepted the Saturday 29 March global Earth Hour challenge, by pledging to shut off the lights at the massive Charity Hangar Ball hosted by Virgin Blue, Australia's low fare airline . The carbon-belching airline proudly announced it would "take on" the global Earth Hour challenge by shutting off the lights during the charity ball.
But unfortunately for Sir Branson, some party-poopers pointed out that more energy could have been saved had the massive party with a guest list of 3000 guests and 500 event staff, been canceled instead. (Almost 97% of the guests were non-Brisbanites who flew into the city specially for the event, using transportation services of carbon-emitting airliners.) That didn't deter the airliner from proudly describing the logistics challenge to transform he Brisbane hangar into a ballroom for 3000 guests.
"With no kitchens on site, tons of equipment is trucked (my emphasis) in, including ovens, cold rooms, chairs, tables, crockery, cutlery and glassware to enable preparation and service.Construction of the dance floor, audio visual wall, lighting , staging, bathrooms and provision for bands . . . will take place over three days," the airliner's publicity statement proudly disclosed.
No mention was made about the statistics of power consumption or carbon unleashed during the charity ball, which party-poopers say was 1000% more than the power saved during the hour the lights were shut off at the hanger.
Another important contributer to the cause of Earth Hour was celebrity socialite Paris Hilton. In the tradition of PETA activists going nude to protest against fur coats, Paris Hilton posed in nude during the earth hour as a symbolic gesture of shedding excess consumption of resources. But this gesture backfired, as this form of load-shedding led to millions of her fans spending extra time on their computers downloading her nude pictures.
But the maximum difference was made by billions of poorest and most underprivileged citizens of earth who were not even aware of the event. These are the people who don't consume power at all because they live in remote villages and hamlets having no electricity. Second on the list of those who made a real difference were consumers of power in thousands of towns and cities in developing countries like India which face regular power outages and daily load-shedding ranging from couple of hours to 12 hours a day.
Since these billions of unfortunates make involuntary contributions towards fighting global warming, no one cared to salute or congratulate them for their lifelong sacrifices and contributions to the cause of mother earth.
Will it make a difference in future?
Yes. All those who missed out taking part in this year's earth hour, will get a chance to make it a success a year later. On the earthhour.org website, there’s already a place for you to sign up for the 2009 event, which will fall on March 29. The organizers of the event are counting on you to raise the percentage of energy saved on 29th March 2009 to 3% from this years 2.32%. The organizers also hope that till next year's event arrives, activists will devote more time and effort to increase awareness about earth hour using all available mediums and resources, which will hopefully lead to around 35-40 global cities participating in Earth hour 2009.
We, at Cracking News, are counting on our politicians and authorities to break their promises of improved power supply. We expect the power crisis to get worse during this hot summer, which will lead to more power-cuts and load-shedding. The quantum of energy saved due to the inability of our government to solve the power crisis is expected to be millions of times more than all the electricity saved from all the earth hours from now till the end of the world.
Mar 30, 2008
Mar 26, 2008
Amitabh Bachchan: UnDonate My Land
Bollywood megastar Amitabh Bachchan, in an unusual move has decided that he wishes to undonate the land donated by him and his son Abhishek in pale village of maval taluka in pune. He sent a letter to pune divisional commissioner, Nitin Kareer demanding that his donated land be undonated and given back to him. But to his dismay, he received a reply from the commissioner stating that there are no provisions under the Indian constitution under which a thing donated can be undonated. The commissioner's reply also pointed out that the word 'undonate' was not a legible word either in the Oxford or Merriam-Webster dictionary, hence his letter would be treated as illegible and consigned to waste paper basket.
For those who came in late, the whole land donation tangle started when Mayawati led Uttar Pradesh government alleged the previous Mulayam Singh led government donated agricultural land to Bachchan illegally. Bachchan went on to declare himself a farmer on the basis of owning this illegally donated land and bought more land near Pune, land which he wouldn't have been able to buy without the title of a farmer. When the Mayawati government filed case against him in the UP court, Bachchan decided that it was better to be a philanthropist than being a disputed farmer owning disputed lands and decided to donate both the lands he had acquired. But when Lucknow high court recently settled the dispute in his favor, Bachchan decided that he preferred being a farmer to being a philanthropist and demanded that the donated land be undonated and given back to him.
Meanwhile, Amitabh Bachchan's best buddy in parliament, Amar Singh has reacted to the news of the rejection of Bachchan's demand of land undonation with usual sound and fury. In Rajya Sabha, Singh demanded that the government should introduce law allowing undonation of donations. "Donations need not be treated as fait accompli and should be reversible in view of changed circumstances." he said.
Later speaking to news reporters, Singh denied the allegation that all of his sound and fury is reserved only for his buddy Mr.Bachchan. "I'm a representative of the common man and not Amitabhji's PA. My demand in the parliament for allowing undonations of donations was raised for the benefit of common people on the street. For example, if you donate 10 rupees to a beggar begging for food but later find the beggar using your donated amount to buy bidis or paan, you should have a right to demand back your donated ten rupee note."
For those who came in late, the whole land donation tangle started when Mayawati led Uttar Pradesh government alleged the previous Mulayam Singh led government donated agricultural land to Bachchan illegally. Bachchan went on to declare himself a farmer on the basis of owning this illegally donated land and bought more land near Pune, land which he wouldn't have been able to buy without the title of a farmer. When the Mayawati government filed case against him in the UP court, Bachchan decided that it was better to be a philanthropist than being a disputed farmer owning disputed lands and decided to donate both the lands he had acquired. But when Lucknow high court recently settled the dispute in his favor, Bachchan decided that he preferred being a farmer to being a philanthropist and demanded that the donated land be undonated and given back to him.
Meanwhile, Amitabh Bachchan's best buddy in parliament, Amar Singh has reacted to the news of the rejection of Bachchan's demand of land undonation with usual sound and fury. In Rajya Sabha, Singh demanded that the government should introduce law allowing undonation of donations. "Donations need not be treated as fait accompli and should be reversible in view of changed circumstances." he said.
Later speaking to news reporters, Singh denied the allegation that all of his sound and fury is reserved only for his buddy Mr.Bachchan. "I'm a representative of the common man and not Amitabhji's PA. My demand in the parliament for allowing undonations of donations was raised for the benefit of common people on the street. For example, if you donate 10 rupees to a beggar begging for food but later find the beggar using your donated amount to buy bidis or paan, you should have a right to demand back your donated ten rupee note."
Mar 23, 2008
Hockey: No national fame, only national shame
Vinit Sharma, a lanky college graduate looking for a job, loves playing tennis and cricket, enjoys watching F1 racing and dreams of dating Maria Sharapova. Vinit has never in his lifetime spent even fifteen continuous minutes watching a live game of hockey either at a stadium or on television. Except for the legendary Dhyanchand whose exploits he recollects reading in his school textbooks, the mercurial Dhanraj Pillay whose name keeps popping up in newspapers due to his controversial statements and Mir Negi, the goalkeeper who has been enjoying fame and adulation ever since the release of the blockbuster 'Chak De', Vinit doesn't know of any other hockey player, Indian or international, of past or present. His knowledge of the game is rudimentary and while he is aware that hockey is our national sport, he has no idea why it is so. Like every good citizen, Vinit believes the government must have had a very good reason for nominating hockey as a national game ahead of cricket and hasn't bothered to find out himself why our government has selected hockey despite the overwhelming popularity of cricket.
Yet despite his lack of awareness about the game of hockey, Vinit Sharma joined millions of Indians in denouncing the poor state of Indian hockey after India failed to qualify for Olympics and demanded that KPS Gill, head honcho of Indian hockey resign as chief of hockey federation. Vinit like thousands of other overnight fans of hockey asked - Is hockey our national game or our national shame?
Rahul Pundit, a twenty-six year old guy working for a multi-national bank is slightly more aware about India's rich hockey legacy and knows why hockey was chosen as our national game ahead of cricket, but like Vinit Sharma he can only recollect three hockey players - Dhyanchand, Dhanraj Pillay and Mir Negi. He vaguely recalls some names like Pargat, Joginder, Jaspal - playing for India, but apart from familiar sounding names he doesn't know anything else about any player. Rahul, like Vinit, found the news of India's inability to qualify for Olympics hard to swallow and asked the same question with slight modification - Has our national game become our national shame?
On the other hand, both Vinit and Rahul are not only able to retrieve from their memory banks the names of all Indian cricket players who have donned national colors in last few years, they are also able to remember the composition of every team playing for Indian Premier League (IPL). Yet neither the duo nor thousands of experts, journalists, sports commentators and enthusiasts have ever wondered why cricket is not our national game.
According to some sports commentators, cricket replaced hockey as our national sport way back in 1971 when a 21-year old, Sunil Gavaskar blasted four centuries against the formidable windies on their own soil. By the time Indian cricket team won its first world cup in 1983, hockey had been completely erased from national consciousness. After the world cup victory cricket mania swept the nation and the mania has never abated except for brief periods when Indian cricket team performed as dismally as our hockey team.
Over three and a half decades have gone past since hockey lost its crown, but experts, journalists, sports commentators and millions of Vinits and Rahuls of India still continue to believe hockey is our national game, since the sports ministry of Indian government has not bothered to notify to the nation that hockey is no longer our national game.
"Only the government of India should have the power to decide what our national game - or for that matter our national anthem, song, animal, bird, insect, flower, vegetable, fruit, tree, plant, mineral, rock, chemical element - should be. Since our government has mandated hockey as our national game, then national game it will continue to be" says Pradeep Paperwalla, sports correspondent of Hindustan Times. "As long as it continues to be our national game, we have a right to declare it as our national shame whenever our hockey team performs abysmally"
Mr. Mani Shankar Aiyer, minister of youth affairs and sports ruled out taking the game of hockey off from its pedestal and replacing cricket as our national game. "We have won eight Olympic gold medals in hockey which is a national record. Cricket on the other hand is not even an Olympic sport. Let cricket make its way into the Olympic games. After our cricket team brings back home its ninth gold medal in the Olympics, our ministry will definitely consider mandating cricket as our national game" said the minister.
Meanwhile the temperamental hockey striker, India's former hockey captain, Dhanraj Pillay has sparked off another controversy by demanding that either hockey players be compensated as handsomely as cricket players or the game should be repealed as our national game. "Hockey players are not compensated well enough in exchange of being branded as 'national shame'. We get no lucrative contracts from advertisers, we don't have professional league teams buying us for crores of rupees and worse, people don't even recognize us on streets. If we are not considered important enough to deserve national fame, why should we be considered important enough to deserve national shame?
Yet despite his lack of awareness about the game of hockey, Vinit Sharma joined millions of Indians in denouncing the poor state of Indian hockey after India failed to qualify for Olympics and demanded that KPS Gill, head honcho of Indian hockey resign as chief of hockey federation. Vinit like thousands of other overnight fans of hockey asked - Is hockey our national game or our national shame?
Rahul Pundit, a twenty-six year old guy working for a multi-national bank is slightly more aware about India's rich hockey legacy and knows why hockey was chosen as our national game ahead of cricket, but like Vinit Sharma he can only recollect three hockey players - Dhyanchand, Dhanraj Pillay and Mir Negi. He vaguely recalls some names like Pargat, Joginder, Jaspal - playing for India, but apart from familiar sounding names he doesn't know anything else about any player. Rahul, like Vinit, found the news of India's inability to qualify for Olympics hard to swallow and asked the same question with slight modification - Has our national game become our national shame?
On the other hand, both Vinit and Rahul are not only able to retrieve from their memory banks the names of all Indian cricket players who have donned national colors in last few years, they are also able to remember the composition of every team playing for Indian Premier League (IPL). Yet neither the duo nor thousands of experts, journalists, sports commentators and enthusiasts have ever wondered why cricket is not our national game.
According to some sports commentators, cricket replaced hockey as our national sport way back in 1971 when a 21-year old, Sunil Gavaskar blasted four centuries against the formidable windies on their own soil. By the time Indian cricket team won its first world cup in 1983, hockey had been completely erased from national consciousness. After the world cup victory cricket mania swept the nation and the mania has never abated except for brief periods when Indian cricket team performed as dismally as our hockey team.
Over three and a half decades have gone past since hockey lost its crown, but experts, journalists, sports commentators and millions of Vinits and Rahuls of India still continue to believe hockey is our national game, since the sports ministry of Indian government has not bothered to notify to the nation that hockey is no longer our national game.
"Only the government of India should have the power to decide what our national game - or for that matter our national anthem, song, animal, bird, insect, flower, vegetable, fruit, tree, plant, mineral, rock, chemical element - should be. Since our government has mandated hockey as our national game, then national game it will continue to be" says Pradeep Paperwalla, sports correspondent of Hindustan Times. "As long as it continues to be our national game, we have a right to declare it as our national shame whenever our hockey team performs abysmally"
Mr. Mani Shankar Aiyer, minister of youth affairs and sports ruled out taking the game of hockey off from its pedestal and replacing cricket as our national game. "We have won eight Olympic gold medals in hockey which is a national record. Cricket on the other hand is not even an Olympic sport. Let cricket make its way into the Olympic games. After our cricket team brings back home its ninth gold medal in the Olympics, our ministry will definitely consider mandating cricket as our national game" said the minister.
Meanwhile the temperamental hockey striker, India's former hockey captain, Dhanraj Pillay has sparked off another controversy by demanding that either hockey players be compensated as handsomely as cricket players or the game should be repealed as our national game. "Hockey players are not compensated well enough in exchange of being branded as 'national shame'. We get no lucrative contracts from advertisers, we don't have professional league teams buying us for crores of rupees and worse, people don't even recognize us on streets. If we are not considered important enough to deserve national fame, why should we be considered important enough to deserve national shame?
Mar 22, 2008
Tabloids reveal movie stars just love holi
Its Holi day, a day of color splashing, balloon flinging, bhang gulping, thumka dancing, top of the lungs bawdy singing and discovering afresh that tinsel town stars just love Holi.
Tabloids across the length and breadth of India are unanimously in their opinion - that all celebrity types, movie stars, telly stars, singing stars - just love holi and have memorable experiences that are so uniquely different from the experiences of general masses that they deserve to be shared with the world. Weather it is Mid-day, Mumbai Mirror, Bombay Times, HT Style or Express Lifestyle, all tabloids, color supplements of newspapers and hindi news channels have once again discovered just how much our show town stars enjoy celebrating the festival of colors.
This discovery has not caused much of a surprise to tabloid readers who year after year keep discovering just how much our bollywood stars enjoy celebrating festivals. Most readers of tabloids are fully aware that all movie and telly stars without exception enjoy diwali, christmas, ramzan id, navrati, durga-poojan, pongal, mahashivrati and of course holi.
Pooja Bedi, Kajol & Ajay Devgan, Neil Mukesh celebrating holi
If tabloid readers have any confusion, its only about the extent of enjoyment that tinsel stars derive from various festivals. Initial assessment and analysis of tabloids during this years holi coverage and comparison with celebrity celebration coverage during other festivals suggest that holi could be the second most celebrated festival by celebrities after diwali. Every movie star from bollywood has had at least one memorable holi experience in their lifetime. Many tinsel starts have had more than one memorable holi experiences. Almost all the stars recall vivid memories of holi day celebrations during their childhood days.
We queried our readers asking them to mail us with their views on celebrity celebrations and how reading memorable holi experiences of show town stars changes us for the better. We received some very interesting responses. According to Swati Malhota, 19, resident to Navpada, Thane "I used to love playing holi. But after being hit by a water-balloon on my temple, which almost blinded me, I gave up playing holi. But reading about the great holi experiences of movie stars year after year helped me overcome my fear of being hit by water balloons. I realize the importance of enjoying our festivals without worrying too much about potential risks"
Ragini Das, 24, receptionist with a private firm at Nariman Point, loves reading how stars celebrate Holi "I can never get tired reading how our bollywood stars celebrate holi. Reading every memorable holi experience gives me a fresh perspective on how a simple festival like holi which just involves throwing colors at others can be source of so much fun and nostalgia"
Sociologist Purva Sinha, insists that tabloid accounts of tinsel stars memorable holi experiences and their current plans for celebrating holi play an important role in keeping the spirit of holi alive and kicking. "All over the world, over a period of time, festivals tend to lose their original spirit and degenerate into vulgar commercialization. Human nature being what it is, often the worst aspects of the festivities tend to catch on with the masses and the original purport of the festivals gets forgotten. But movie stars being a cut above the general masses and insulated from the ugliness of ordinary life, tend to enjoy festivities in their pure form. Tabloids, color supplements of newspapers and news channels, by regularly featuring accounts of celebrations of festivities by movie stars are serving a vital function of reminding the readers how to enjoy festivities in their true spirit "
Tabloids across the length and breadth of India are unanimously in their opinion - that all celebrity types, movie stars, telly stars, singing stars - just love holi and have memorable experiences that are so uniquely different from the experiences of general masses that they deserve to be shared with the world. Weather it is Mid-day, Mumbai Mirror, Bombay Times, HT Style or Express Lifestyle, all tabloids, color supplements of newspapers and hindi news channels have once again discovered just how much our show town stars enjoy celebrating the festival of colors.
This discovery has not caused much of a surprise to tabloid readers who year after year keep discovering just how much our bollywood stars enjoy celebrating festivals. Most readers of tabloids are fully aware that all movie and telly stars without exception enjoy diwali, christmas, ramzan id, navrati, durga-poojan, pongal, mahashivrati and of course holi.
Pooja Bedi, Kajol & Ajay Devgan, Neil Mukesh celebrating holi
If tabloid readers have any confusion, its only about the extent of enjoyment that tinsel stars derive from various festivals. Initial assessment and analysis of tabloids during this years holi coverage and comparison with celebrity celebration coverage during other festivals suggest that holi could be the second most celebrated festival by celebrities after diwali. Every movie star from bollywood has had at least one memorable holi experience in their lifetime. Many tinsel starts have had more than one memorable holi experiences. Almost all the stars recall vivid memories of holi day celebrations during their childhood days.
We queried our readers asking them to mail us with their views on celebrity celebrations and how reading memorable holi experiences of show town stars changes us for the better. We received some very interesting responses. According to Swati Malhota, 19, resident to Navpada, Thane "I used to love playing holi. But after being hit by a water-balloon on my temple, which almost blinded me, I gave up playing holi. But reading about the great holi experiences of movie stars year after year helped me overcome my fear of being hit by water balloons. I realize the importance of enjoying our festivals without worrying too much about potential risks"
Ragini Das, 24, receptionist with a private firm at Nariman Point, loves reading how stars celebrate Holi "I can never get tired reading how our bollywood stars celebrate holi. Reading every memorable holi experience gives me a fresh perspective on how a simple festival like holi which just involves throwing colors at others can be source of so much fun and nostalgia"
Sociologist Purva Sinha, insists that tabloid accounts of tinsel stars memorable holi experiences and their current plans for celebrating holi play an important role in keeping the spirit of holi alive and kicking. "All over the world, over a period of time, festivals tend to lose their original spirit and degenerate into vulgar commercialization. Human nature being what it is, often the worst aspects of the festivities tend to catch on with the masses and the original purport of the festivals gets forgotten. But movie stars being a cut above the general masses and insulated from the ugliness of ordinary life, tend to enjoy festivities in their pure form. Tabloids, color supplements of newspapers and news channels, by regularly featuring accounts of celebrations of festivities by movie stars are serving a vital function of reminding the readers how to enjoy festivities in their true spirit "
Mar 18, 2008
Researchers discover two new behavioral syndromes
Dr. Mahesh Paranjpe, senior professor at Tata Institute of Social Sciences was disinterestingly browsing the morning papers when his eyes fell upon two news items posted side by side. One item revealed that a survey has ranked Mumbai as the seventh dirtiest city in the world. The other new item was about four Indians making it to the list of top ten billionaires in the world. Dr. Paranjpe's instinctively knew that it would be the second news item that would make the most of the buzz of the two. 
After a few chats with friends and colleagues and after browsing through several related articles on internet, his suspicions were confirmed. Most of the cityzens of the city that he has made his home for 22 years didn't care much about the city going down the drain, preferring to focus their attention and euphoria on the achievements of the fab four who have made it to the top ten.
This set the old doctor thinking and he along with a few of his colleagues at TISS decided to do a research paper on this interesting trend amongst Indians to bask in reflected glory of others achievements. After two months of research, Prof Paranjpe and his colleagues have published the research paper of their findings which includes discovery of two new psychological syndromes that explains the extraordinary pride of people in the achievements of the rich and the famous.
At a press conference held at New Delhi, Dr. Paranjpe disclosed that they have found a behavioral trait amongst people that is somewhat similar to the 'Stockholm Syndrome', a syndrome in which hostages of abductions display loyalty towards the hostage-taker often identifying with their causes. According to Dr. Parnanjpe, people affected by the syndrome, which he has named "Smockhome (Shitholes may be our common karma, yet happy we'll be for our moneyed elite) Syndrome", find a common cause with billionaires of the country of their origin, the nationality being the only common factor, overlooking all other differences and feel happy and excited when these billionaires do well in international wealth rankings.
People affected by this syndrome, which affects mostly everyone, ignore and overlook the messy situations and surroundings they are themselves stuck in and instead revel and celebrate the success of the few of their fellow countrymen who make it big in Forbes list.
As is with Stockholm syndrome where staying together for a long duration allows the hostage takers to subtly brainwash their hostages into sympathizing with their cause, similarly we find that with Smockhome syndrome the top billionaires through effective PR campaigns and media generated hype subtly brainwash people into feeling pride over their achievements, said Dr. Paranjpe
Dr. Paranjpe and his colleagues also discovered another behavioral trait that explained the curious phenomena of feeling pride over billionaires wealth rankings. According to the professor, stories of Indian billionaires reaching the top of wealth charts created a feeling of "I-too-can-become-a-billionaire". Naming this behavioral trait 'I2C Syndrome', Dr. Paranjpe said that this syndrome makes people make quick and easy connections with big billionaires on the basis of superficial similarities like a common nationality or common race, overlooking more complicated differences.
Dr. Prakash Rathod, also professor at TISS and part of the research team added that this syndrome made no scientific sense since top billionaires have more in common with other billionaires around the world (including third-world countries like Mexico) than with ordinary average joes of their common nationality. According to Dr. Rathod, statistically speaking an average Indian on the street had 1.66667e-9 percent chance of making the list of top 10 billionaire list when there was no Indian in the list. With four Indians making it to the elite list, the chances of an average Indian have increased slightly to 0.00000001 percent, but still far too minuscule to make much of a difference.
The research team debunked the general perception that this behavior arises because Indians are unselfish and highly patriotic. Dr. Paranjpe said human beings are very complex creatures with a rich emotional terrain made up of complicated behavioral eccentricities which often get mistaken for simple emotions like unselfishness or patriotism. If people were really unselfish and patriotic, they would work harder to make their country a better place; they would care about their surroundings and take measures to improve the quality of their cities and that of their fellow countrymen instead of gloating over the achievements of a few billionaires.
After a few chats with friends and colleagues and after browsing through several related articles on internet, his suspicions were confirmed. Most of the cityzens of the city that he has made his home for 22 years didn't care much about the city going down the drain, preferring to focus their attention and euphoria on the achievements of the fab four who have made it to the top ten.This set the old doctor thinking and he along with a few of his colleagues at TISS decided to do a research paper on this interesting trend amongst Indians to bask in reflected glory of others achievements. After two months of research, Prof Paranjpe and his colleagues have published the research paper of their findings which includes discovery of two new psychological syndromes that explains the extraordinary pride of people in the achievements of the rich and the famous.
At a press conference held at New Delhi, Dr. Paranjpe disclosed that they have found a behavioral trait amongst people that is somewhat similar to the 'Stockholm Syndrome', a syndrome in which hostages of abductions display loyalty towards the hostage-taker often identifying with their causes. According to Dr. Parnanjpe, people affected by the syndrome, which he has named "Smockhome (Shitholes may be our common karma, yet happy we'll be for our moneyed elite) Syndrome", find a common cause with billionaires of the country of their origin, the nationality being the only common factor, overlooking all other differences and feel happy and excited when these billionaires do well in international wealth rankings.
People affected by this syndrome, which affects mostly everyone, ignore and overlook the messy situations and surroundings they are themselves stuck in and instead revel and celebrate the success of the few of their fellow countrymen who make it big in Forbes list.As is with Stockholm syndrome where staying together for a long duration allows the hostage takers to subtly brainwash their hostages into sympathizing with their cause, similarly we find that with Smockhome syndrome the top billionaires through effective PR campaigns and media generated hype subtly brainwash people into feeling pride over their achievements, said Dr. Paranjpe
Dr. Paranjpe and his colleagues also discovered another behavioral trait that explained the curious phenomena of feeling pride over billionaires wealth rankings. According to the professor, stories of Indian billionaires reaching the top of wealth charts created a feeling of "I-too-can-become-a-billionaire". Naming this behavioral trait 'I2C Syndrome', Dr. Paranjpe said that this syndrome makes people make quick and easy connections with big billionaires on the basis of superficial similarities like a common nationality or common race, overlooking more complicated differences.
Dr. Prakash Rathod, also professor at TISS and part of the research team added that this syndrome made no scientific sense since top billionaires have more in common with other billionaires around the world (including third-world countries like Mexico) than with ordinary average joes of their common nationality. According to Dr. Rathod, statistically speaking an average Indian on the street had 1.66667e-9 percent chance of making the list of top 10 billionaire list when there was no Indian in the list. With four Indians making it to the elite list, the chances of an average Indian have increased slightly to 0.00000001 percent, but still far too minuscule to make much of a difference.
The research team debunked the general perception that this behavior arises because Indians are unselfish and highly patriotic. Dr. Paranjpe said human beings are very complex creatures with a rich emotional terrain made up of complicated behavioral eccentricities which often get mistaken for simple emotions like unselfishness or patriotism. If people were really unselfish and patriotic, they would work harder to make their country a better place; they would care about their surroundings and take measures to improve the quality of their cities and that of their fellow countrymen instead of gloating over the achievements of a few billionaires.
Notes of Suicides
In 2006, 5,857 students — or 16 a day — committed suicide across India due to exam stress. And these are just the official figures. According to the unofficial figures around 30 young people commit suicide everyday due to various reasons.
Suicide notes left by youngsters reveal an interesting trend. Most students are conned by the society, their teachers, parents and peers into believing life has no meaning if answer sheets handed to them during examinations along with question paper sheets cannot be filled with appropriately correct answers as determined by a bunch of jokers who work for institutions that purportedly attempt to teach students everything they should know about life, except the meaning of life.
Anita Naresh, a 16 year old from Kanpur who swallowed dye last week wrote in her suicide note "I failed to remember all the properties of chemical element C2H6. To make matters worse, during my geometry papers, I confused my sines with cosines. My life appears meaningless and colorless now. What right do I have to love, to laugh, to have fun, to dance, to travel, to marry and have kids and to discover exciting new possibilities, when I lack even the ability to remember the properties of ethane?"
Another student from Chandigarh who hanged himself from a ceiling fan wrote in his suicide note "I failed you, mom and dad. I failed to find the solution to two geometric equations before the bell rang. I wish I had five more minutes, but unfortunately I lost precious seven minutes of my alloted time trying to solve a previous tricky equation. I failed god too. I was sent by god on this beautiful planet to correctly solve difficult and tricky geometric equations within the alloted time during exams. I'm a waste and I deserve to die and go to hell."
Parents of both the kids failed to read the sarcasm in the suicide notes and blamed the teachers for not preparing the students adequately. "My daughter was good in studies, but often used to complain that she had a tough time remembering properties of chemical elements. If only her chemistry teacher, Mrs. Raveena Pandey had paid attention to her problems and gave her extra coaching, we wouldn't have lost our daughter" wailed Mrs Bharati Naresh, mother of Anita Naresh
But its not just exam related problems that are forcing youngsters to embrace death so early in their lives. Peer pressure, inferiority complexes and relationship troubles also contribute to making life not worth livable for youngsters.
Suvarna Deshpande, 16, a first year commerce student from Wilson College, Mumbai ended her life swallowing rat poison, unable to bear the humiliation of being compared to a soap opera bahu. Her suicide note states. "In my group of girlfriends, all of us excepting me were given nicknames by boys of my class. Sheetal, my best friend was called Bipasha; Sangeeta was nicknamed Aishwarya, Deepa was compared to Katreena Kaif and Nandini was called Priyanka Chopra. But the guys avoided giving me any nick. I couldn't bear it any longer and finally got hold of one of them and insisted on being given a nick. He tried to escape but when he realized I wouldn't let him go, he relented and to my shock gave me the nick of Parvati, the gullible and stupid bahu from the serial 'Kahani har ghar ki'. I'm unable to bear this extreme humiliation and find death a better prospect then going back to my college knowing that everyone there thinks of me as a stupid 'behanji'"
Rajat Gupta, 17, lone child of his parents went into maniac depression when his new girlfriend of one and a half months refused to take his calls or reply to his text messages after a small tiff which he believed would lead to a break-up. Soon after he jumped from a high-rise leaving behind a suicide note "My life is over. My heart has broken into a thousand pieces. Everyone says that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but right now I can only see each and every fish entering my life and breaking my heart further into a million pieces. There's no hope left for me and I must die."
Sonu Trivedi, a 13 year old residing in Happy Valley, Noida found it difficult to continue living after being snubbed by his friends for not having XBox at home. In his suicide note, he wrote "My friends never liked coming to my house since we don't have Xbox at home. Yesterday, I borrowed DVD of the action movie 'X-Men' from bhaiyyu and persuaded my friends to visit my house to watch it. But as were watching the movie, our gang leader, Ashutosh got bored with the movie and said he wanted to do something else. Everyone got upset since there was nothing else to do at my house and left. I feel completely humiliated. I don't have a XBox and my friends don't like me. Whats then the purpose of my life?"
According to Rishikesh Banerjee who lost his son, when he committed suicide after failing to get admission to the college of his choice, youngsters should be educated that there is more to life than just passing examinations. After his son's suicide, he set up a website 10001-reasons-to-live.com and also authored a book by the same name. But he says in dismay "I can save thousands of life if students visit my site or read my book. But until now I have managed to sell only few hundred copies of my book. Unfortunately, the society gets to these poor young people, before my book reaches them"
Banerjee was hoping that schools and universities all over the country would introduce his book as part of the curriculum, but except for a couple of orders by college libraries, he has found no takers for his book. "I get depressed by the apathy and lack of interest in solving the problems of youngsters by school and college administrators. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide myself for failing to make much of a difference despite all the hard work I've done in writing a book and setting up my website. But then I pick my book, randomly read a page and find a reason to continue living." he said with a sigh.
Suicide notes left by youngsters reveal an interesting trend. Most students are conned by the society, their teachers, parents and peers into believing life has no meaning if answer sheets handed to them during examinations along with question paper sheets cannot be filled with appropriately correct answers as determined by a bunch of jokers who work for institutions that purportedly attempt to teach students everything they should know about life, except the meaning of life.
Anita Naresh, a 16 year old from Kanpur who swallowed dye last week wrote in her suicide note "I failed to remember all the properties of chemical element C2H6. To make matters worse, during my geometry papers, I confused my sines with cosines. My life appears meaningless and colorless now. What right do I have to love, to laugh, to have fun, to dance, to travel, to marry and have kids and to discover exciting new possibilities, when I lack even the ability to remember the properties of ethane?"
Another student from Chandigarh who hanged himself from a ceiling fan wrote in his suicide note "I failed you, mom and dad. I failed to find the solution to two geometric equations before the bell rang. I wish I had five more minutes, but unfortunately I lost precious seven minutes of my alloted time trying to solve a previous tricky equation. I failed god too. I was sent by god on this beautiful planet to correctly solve difficult and tricky geometric equations within the alloted time during exams. I'm a waste and I deserve to die and go to hell."
Parents of both the kids failed to read the sarcasm in the suicide notes and blamed the teachers for not preparing the students adequately. "My daughter was good in studies, but often used to complain that she had a tough time remembering properties of chemical elements. If only her chemistry teacher, Mrs. Raveena Pandey had paid attention to her problems and gave her extra coaching, we wouldn't have lost our daughter" wailed Mrs Bharati Naresh, mother of Anita Naresh
But its not just exam related problems that are forcing youngsters to embrace death so early in their lives. Peer pressure, inferiority complexes and relationship troubles also contribute to making life not worth livable for youngsters.
Suvarna Deshpande, 16, a first year commerce student from Wilson College, Mumbai ended her life swallowing rat poison, unable to bear the humiliation of being compared to a soap opera bahu. Her suicide note states. "In my group of girlfriends, all of us excepting me were given nicknames by boys of my class. Sheetal, my best friend was called Bipasha; Sangeeta was nicknamed Aishwarya, Deepa was compared to Katreena Kaif and Nandini was called Priyanka Chopra. But the guys avoided giving me any nick. I couldn't bear it any longer and finally got hold of one of them and insisted on being given a nick. He tried to escape but when he realized I wouldn't let him go, he relented and to my shock gave me the nick of Parvati, the gullible and stupid bahu from the serial 'Kahani har ghar ki'. I'm unable to bear this extreme humiliation and find death a better prospect then going back to my college knowing that everyone there thinks of me as a stupid 'behanji'"
Rajat Gupta, 17, lone child of his parents went into maniac depression when his new girlfriend of one and a half months refused to take his calls or reply to his text messages after a small tiff which he believed would lead to a break-up. Soon after he jumped from a high-rise leaving behind a suicide note "My life is over. My heart has broken into a thousand pieces. Everyone says that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but right now I can only see each and every fish entering my life and breaking my heart further into a million pieces. There's no hope left for me and I must die."
Sonu Trivedi, a 13 year old residing in Happy Valley, Noida found it difficult to continue living after being snubbed by his friends for not having XBox at home. In his suicide note, he wrote "My friends never liked coming to my house since we don't have Xbox at home. Yesterday, I borrowed DVD of the action movie 'X-Men' from bhaiyyu and persuaded my friends to visit my house to watch it. But as were watching the movie, our gang leader, Ashutosh got bored with the movie and said he wanted to do something else. Everyone got upset since there was nothing else to do at my house and left. I feel completely humiliated. I don't have a XBox and my friends don't like me. Whats then the purpose of my life?"
According to Rishikesh Banerjee who lost his son, when he committed suicide after failing to get admission to the college of his choice, youngsters should be educated that there is more to life than just passing examinations. After his son's suicide, he set up a website 10001-reasons-to-live.com and also authored a book by the same name. But he says in dismay "I can save thousands of life if students visit my site or read my book. But until now I have managed to sell only few hundred copies of my book. Unfortunately, the society gets to these poor young people, before my book reaches them"
Banerjee was hoping that schools and universities all over the country would introduce his book as part of the curriculum, but except for a couple of orders by college libraries, he has found no takers for his book. "I get depressed by the apathy and lack of interest in solving the problems of youngsters by school and college administrators. Sometimes I feel like committing suicide myself for failing to make much of a difference despite all the hard work I've done in writing a book and setting up my website. But then I pick my book, randomly read a page and find a reason to continue living." he said with a sigh.
Mar 15, 2008
Can I Have Some Of Your Maya, Please?
Namaste Mukeshbhai,
Apko mera pranaam.
You are a great man, Mukeshji, a worthy son of a remarkable father. Your father was a great man too, a remarkable man who rose from the bottom rungs of the society to its greatest heights. You are a worthy son, who has inherited not only his brains, but also his wisdom
Apart from remarkable business acumen, you have a very wise head on your shoulders. Like our great sages of yesteryears, you are well-versed in scriptures and understand the reality of our universe. Yes sir, its all maya, the illusion that titillates all of us, veils our vision and finally entraps us. It is remarkable that despite your riches, you have managed to avoid being entrapped by the permeating grip of this all-enticing illusion. I congratulate you for not getting carried away by all the hype that surrounds you because of your wealth and for resisting the temptations of the deceptive distraction of maya.
Yes, we should all beware of this titillating illusion. But let me caution you a bit, Sir. Mythology and history shows us that just great wisdom is not enough to avoid the titillations that the great illusion throws at us all the time. The great Vishwamitra who spent years practicing austerities lost his self-control and gave in to the temptations presented by maya in the form a the apsara Menaka. The greatest of the sages have been seduced by the temptations of maya and in a moment of madness lost everything they have accumulated in decades of tapasya and self-denial.
It is indeed a tremendous achievement that your wealth and riches have not distracted you from the straight and narrow path. It is very commendable that you don't lust for titles, honors and rankings nor do you believe in reveling in luxury as lesser mortals would tempted to be, preferring to focus on your work. But Sir, let me warn you again about the guiles of the seductive bitch called Maya. She is a formidable foe, a seductress like no other who doesn't rest till she has tamed the mightiest and most powerful of men.
Maya, the seductive temptress enticing Mukesh Ambani to build the luxurious residence named 'Antilla'?
Sir, I've read reports that you are building a magnificent residence for yourself and your family at a cost of nearly Rs.4000 crores, a residential tower that will have a staff of 600 to take care of you and your family along with three helipads, six floors of parking space, swimming pools and hanging gardens. I ask you, is this ultra-luxurious home not an evidence that you are being beguiled by the great seductress?
I'm afraid for you, sir; afraid that goddess Maya will finally succeed in tempting you into submission and destroy you like it has destroyed most mankind. As a fan, ardent admirer and a well-wisher, I submit that the only way to beat the illusion is to get rid of it. The lesser the illusion engulfs you, more are the chances of you escaping its enticing net.
Sir, can I have some of some of the the illusion that surrounds you? I'm not asking you to share your illusion out of lust for your wealth. I recognize that the entrapments of maya are very dangerous, but out of my desire to protect you from its snares, I'm willing to take on some of the burden of your illusion. Kindly allow me to share your great burden. I'm sure that in a poor country like India where people are blessed with far too less maya than is necessary to lead a life of dignity, you will find millions like me who would gladly share most of your burden.
I hope you will avail of this tempting offer to get rid of the temptations proffered by maya. I assure you that I'll make only the best use of the part of the illusion you will be getting rid of, using it to fulfill only my basic needs like having my own house, a non-luxurious four-wheeler, rotary club membership and a one-time 30-day package trip to Europe for me, my wife and two kids. The total cost of fulfilling my basic needs would be around INR 1.75 crores, but for your sake, I'm willing to take a larger burden of your illusion, even at the risk of getting enticed by the she-devil Maya.
Please accept my offer, sir. I'm out here for you! You don't know what it's like to be me out here for you. Help me help you help me help you. Help me help you.
Apko mera pranaam.
You are a great man, Mukeshji, a worthy son of a remarkable father. Your father was a great man too, a remarkable man who rose from the bottom rungs of the society to its greatest heights. You are a worthy son, who has inherited not only his brains, but also his wisdom
Apart from remarkable business acumen, you have a very wise head on your shoulders. Like our great sages of yesteryears, you are well-versed in scriptures and understand the reality of our universe. Yes sir, its all maya, the illusion that titillates all of us, veils our vision and finally entraps us. It is remarkable that despite your riches, you have managed to avoid being entrapped by the permeating grip of this all-enticing illusion. I congratulate you for not getting carried away by all the hype that surrounds you because of your wealth and for resisting the temptations of the deceptive distraction of maya.
Yes, we should all beware of this titillating illusion. But let me caution you a bit, Sir. Mythology and history shows us that just great wisdom is not enough to avoid the titillations that the great illusion throws at us all the time. The great Vishwamitra who spent years practicing austerities lost his self-control and gave in to the temptations presented by maya in the form a the apsara Menaka. The greatest of the sages have been seduced by the temptations of maya and in a moment of madness lost everything they have accumulated in decades of tapasya and self-denial.
It is indeed a tremendous achievement that your wealth and riches have not distracted you from the straight and narrow path. It is very commendable that you don't lust for titles, honors and rankings nor do you believe in reveling in luxury as lesser mortals would tempted to be, preferring to focus on your work. But Sir, let me warn you again about the guiles of the seductive bitch called Maya. She is a formidable foe, a seductress like no other who doesn't rest till she has tamed the mightiest and most powerful of men.
Maya, the seductive temptress enticing Mukesh Ambani to build the luxurious residence named 'Antilla'?Sir, I've read reports that you are building a magnificent residence for yourself and your family at a cost of nearly Rs.4000 crores, a residential tower that will have a staff of 600 to take care of you and your family along with three helipads, six floors of parking space, swimming pools and hanging gardens. I ask you, is this ultra-luxurious home not an evidence that you are being beguiled by the great seductress?
I'm afraid for you, sir; afraid that goddess Maya will finally succeed in tempting you into submission and destroy you like it has destroyed most mankind. As a fan, ardent admirer and a well-wisher, I submit that the only way to beat the illusion is to get rid of it. The lesser the illusion engulfs you, more are the chances of you escaping its enticing net.
Sir, can I have some of some of the the illusion that surrounds you? I'm not asking you to share your illusion out of lust for your wealth. I recognize that the entrapments of maya are very dangerous, but out of my desire to protect you from its snares, I'm willing to take on some of the burden of your illusion. Kindly allow me to share your great burden. I'm sure that in a poor country like India where people are blessed with far too less maya than is necessary to lead a life of dignity, you will find millions like me who would gladly share most of your burden.
I hope you will avail of this tempting offer to get rid of the temptations proffered by maya. I assure you that I'll make only the best use of the part of the illusion you will be getting rid of, using it to fulfill only my basic needs like having my own house, a non-luxurious four-wheeler, rotary club membership and a one-time 30-day package trip to Europe for me, my wife and two kids. The total cost of fulfilling my basic needs would be around INR 1.75 crores, but for your sake, I'm willing to take a larger burden of your illusion, even at the risk of getting enticed by the she-devil Maya.
Please accept my offer, sir. I'm out here for you! You don't know what it's like to be me out here for you. Help me help you help me help you. Help me help you.
Mar 14, 2008
SMS Y to 0420 if you enjoyed reading this satiricle. SMS N to 0420 if you feel its crap.
Rajdeep Sardesai - Good evening viewers, this is Rajdeep Sardesai, welcoming you to News at 10 with me and Sagarika. Tonight we will be focusing on SMS polls and discussing weather they are money-making scams or genuine tools of democracy. But first the main headlines for today. Headline #1.. blah blah blah..Headline # 10
Our top story for tonight is weather the proliferation of SMS polls on television channels is a sign of vibrancy of our democracy or are these polls just an excuse to earn easy money by the TV channels. As usual we have got two set of panel of experts, one which will argue for the former case and the other set will argue for the latter. As usual both of them will fail to concur and we will let you viewers decide which one of them is right.
Sagarika - So our question of the day is - "Are SMS polls just money-making scams, just an extra source of revenue for television channels? If your answer is yes, SMS Y to 5252 and if your answer is no, SMS N to 5252. At the end of the discussion, we will present the results of the poll.
Rajdeep - Let me introduce you to our panel. On the extreme right, we have prominent media critic Mrs.Neelima Azmi and besides her we have Mr. Sameer Honda, head of finance for Star network.
Mrs. Azmi, we will start with you. You have been very critical of the SMS polling culture and have dubbed it as a money-making scam. What do you have to say about the argument that such polls are vital new tools for our democracy allowing the citizens of our country to air their views and participate in opinion-making process. Why don't you look at the brighter side of the picture instead of taking a very cynical view that these polls serve no purpose save garnering revenues for TV channels?
Mrs. Azmi - You see Rajdeep, I don't buy this argument that a simple Yes/No poll on a television channel can be considered as a barometer of public opinion. There are scores of channels broadcasting several such polls everyday. Does anyone track the results of these polls? Are the results of these polls fed in a database and sent to people who matter. People forget about the results of these polls within moments after the show. Blah Blah Blah..
Mr Honda (interrupting) - Mrs Azmi, we are living in a democracy and in a democracy, politicians do feel the need to know the opinion of people on matters of national importance and SMS polls serve a very vital function. They serve as a link between the decision makers and the voting public...Blah Blah Blah
Mrs. Azmi - I'm not against opinion polls, Mr. Honda. My primary objection to these polls is that the way they are conducted. If the intentions behind these polls are honest and noble, why are viewers charged Rs.5 for a single SMS, nearly five time the general rate? All over the world, opinion polls conducted by media are generally free, conducted mainly through internet. Its only in India where gullible viewers are fooled into paying for voicing their opinions to..Blah Blah Blah.
Mr. Honda - In India, internet usage is not as widespread as mobile phone usage. Besides you can't expect people to log on to the internet when a discussion is going on in order to send their vote. Text messaging is a very convenient way for most people...
Sagarika (butting in) - But Mr. Honda, why charge Rs. 5 for a single sms when the......
Mr. Honda (interrupting) - You know very well, Sagarika, that in India running a news channel is an expensive proposition. News channels don't enjoy as high TRP ratings as general entertainment channels...
Sagarika (getting excited and gesticulating wildy) - But Mr. Honda, your network runs several entertainment channels too where contestants participating in singing contests beg viewers to send them SMS votes. Every show on your network carries such polls. You don't let go of any opportunity to milk every possible avenue to post such polls irrespective of weather these polls serve any purpose or not...
Mr. Honda - Sagarika, through these reality contest shows and SMS polls, Indian public supports small and amateur artists who otherwise would have remain anonymous despite their talent or spend their lifetime struggling trying to make it big....
Blah Blah Blah...
(Ad Break)
Blah Blah Blah....
(Ad Break)
Blah Blah Blah....
Rajdeep - I'm afraid we will have to end this very interesting discussion here as we are completely running out of time. Mrs Neelima Azmi, Mr Sameer Honda, it was a pleasure having you on our show. Thank you, both of you for coming on the show and sharing with us your valuable opinion on this matter.
Sagarika - Now its the time for the results of our SMS polls. Our viewers have voted and made their decision. As you can see on your television screens, a whopping 94% of our viewers agree with a view that SMS polls are just a money-making exercise. Our viewers have sent a strong message to television channels that they have had enough of these polls and don't trust them anymore.
Rajdeep - But before leaving, we have a startling revelation to make. Tonight's show has set a new record. We have received a record number of SMS votes for tonight's discussion, over 15000 votes which is nearly 3 times the usual number we get. Its very obvious that our viewers feel very strongly against the excessive use of SMS polling by television channels and have voiced very strongly their displeasure.
Thank you viewers for watching the show and voicing your opinions. This is me, Rajdeep, (and me, Sagarika) signing off from the show. Goodnight & Goodbye.
Our top story for tonight is weather the proliferation of SMS polls on television channels is a sign of vibrancy of our democracy or are these polls just an excuse to earn easy money by the TV channels. As usual we have got two set of panel of experts, one which will argue for the former case and the other set will argue for the latter. As usual both of them will fail to concur and we will let you viewers decide which one of them is right.
Sagarika - So our question of the day is - "Are SMS polls just money-making scams, just an extra source of revenue for television channels? If your answer is yes, SMS Y to 5252 and if your answer is no, SMS N to 5252. At the end of the discussion, we will present the results of the poll.
Rajdeep - Let me introduce you to our panel. On the extreme right, we have prominent media critic Mrs.Neelima Azmi and besides her we have Mr. Sameer Honda, head of finance for Star network.
Mrs. Azmi, we will start with you. You have been very critical of the SMS polling culture and have dubbed it as a money-making scam. What do you have to say about the argument that such polls are vital new tools for our democracy allowing the citizens of our country to air their views and participate in opinion-making process. Why don't you look at the brighter side of the picture instead of taking a very cynical view that these polls serve no purpose save garnering revenues for TV channels?
Mrs. Azmi - You see Rajdeep, I don't buy this argument that a simple Yes/No poll on a television channel can be considered as a barometer of public opinion. There are scores of channels broadcasting several such polls everyday. Does anyone track the results of these polls? Are the results of these polls fed in a database and sent to people who matter. People forget about the results of these polls within moments after the show. Blah Blah Blah..
Mr Honda (interrupting) - Mrs Azmi, we are living in a democracy and in a democracy, politicians do feel the need to know the opinion of people on matters of national importance and SMS polls serve a very vital function. They serve as a link between the decision makers and the voting public...Blah Blah Blah
Mrs. Azmi - I'm not against opinion polls, Mr. Honda. My primary objection to these polls is that the way they are conducted. If the intentions behind these polls are honest and noble, why are viewers charged Rs.5 for a single SMS, nearly five time the general rate? All over the world, opinion polls conducted by media are generally free, conducted mainly through internet. Its only in India where gullible viewers are fooled into paying for voicing their opinions to..Blah Blah Blah.
Mr. Honda - In India, internet usage is not as widespread as mobile phone usage. Besides you can't expect people to log on to the internet when a discussion is going on in order to send their vote. Text messaging is a very convenient way for most people...
Sagarika (butting in) - But Mr. Honda, why charge Rs. 5 for a single sms when the......
Mr. Honda (interrupting) - You know very well, Sagarika, that in India running a news channel is an expensive proposition. News channels don't enjoy as high TRP ratings as general entertainment channels...
Sagarika (getting excited and gesticulating wildy) - But Mr. Honda, your network runs several entertainment channels too where contestants participating in singing contests beg viewers to send them SMS votes. Every show on your network carries such polls. You don't let go of any opportunity to milk every possible avenue to post such polls irrespective of weather these polls serve any purpose or not...
Mr. Honda - Sagarika, through these reality contest shows and SMS polls, Indian public supports small and amateur artists who otherwise would have remain anonymous despite their talent or spend their lifetime struggling trying to make it big....
Blah Blah Blah...
(Ad Break)
Blah Blah Blah....
(Ad Break)
Blah Blah Blah....
Rajdeep - I'm afraid we will have to end this very interesting discussion here as we are completely running out of time. Mrs Neelima Azmi, Mr Sameer Honda, it was a pleasure having you on our show. Thank you, both of you for coming on the show and sharing with us your valuable opinion on this matter.
Sagarika - Now its the time for the results of our SMS polls. Our viewers have voted and made their decision. As you can see on your television screens, a whopping 94% of our viewers agree with a view that SMS polls are just a money-making exercise. Our viewers have sent a strong message to television channels that they have had enough of these polls and don't trust them anymore.
Rajdeep - But before leaving, we have a startling revelation to make. Tonight's show has set a new record. We have received a record number of SMS votes for tonight's discussion, over 15000 votes which is nearly 3 times the usual number we get. Its very obvious that our viewers feel very strongly against the excessive use of SMS polling by television channels and have voiced very strongly their displeasure.
Thank you viewers for watching the show and voicing your opinions. This is me, Rajdeep, (and me, Sagarika) signing off from the show. Goodnight & Goodbye.
Mar 13, 2008
Environmental, Human Rights Activists Demand Scrapping of New List of Seven Sins
Rome - Environmentalists, anti-GM activists, communists, socialists, anti-narcotics activists and human rights organizations came together under a common umbrella to protest against the new list of seven additional sins added by the Vatican.
On March 9, 2008 the Vatican newspaper had published an interview with Bishop Gianfranco Girotti (head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, the Vatican body which oversees confessions and plenary indulgences), in which he listed seven modern social sins. These "social" sins were given as follows: Environmental pollution, Genetic manipulation, Accumulating excessive wealth, Inflicting poverty, Drug trafficking and consumption, Morally debatable experiments & Violation of fundamental rights of human nature
In a surprise move, hundreds of human rights organization from all over the world, political activists from many countries and activists from NGO's of all hues, jointly issued a statement demanding that the Vatican immediately scrap the new list of seven deadly sins as the inclusion of the activities listed in the new sin list can potentially damage the credibility and seriousness of the violations concerned with these activities and downgrade them from serious crimes to mere 'sins'
How can sexual attraction be equated with horrendous crimes of human rights violations like torture, asks human rights activist, Amero Sanchez
"The seven original sins listed by the church - Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy & pride - are not taken seriously even by devout catholics and are regarded as a joke by most people all over the world. By clubbing environmental & social crimes of a very serious nature along with the original list of sins, the Vatican is guilty of seriously undermining efforts of thousands of non-governmental organizations all over the world to stop environmental violations and prevent exploitation and abuse of weaker sections of society" said Dr. Joseph Sinatra, spokesperson of the newly created front.
Is subjecting prisoners to torture and abuse nothing worse than gluttony which many modern researchers claim is a disease arising of boredom and loneliness
At a protest-movement organized by the front outside the precincts of the Vatican, many activists spoke out against the expansion of the sin list. Environment activist and member of Greenpeace, John Passacantando pointed out that the so-called original seven 'deadly' sins are not regarded as sins even by most environmental and human right activists.
Inflicting poverty, directly or indirectly, is a social crime of mammoth proportions effecting billions of people. How can the Vatican club it would a frivolous emotion like envy which everyone suffers from at some time or other, communists and socialists demand to know
"The Media and its organs promote lust, multi-national food corporations promote gluttony; greed has been officially declared as good by advertisers and marketmen, anger and wrath are seen as important human emotions which should not be curbed, jealousy and envy are regarded as healthy emotions as long as they lead to self-improvement and competitiveness, people are encouraged to accomplish a lot and feel pride about their achievements. We live in a world where where these seven original sins are glamorized and promoted as virtues. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the seven original deadly sins make the world go round. By clubbing environmental and social crimes with these 'sexy' sins, the Vatican is guilty of glamorizing serious crimes against the environment" screamed Mr. Passacantando at the rally.
Greed is good, shout advertisers from every hoarding. Human right activists fear that by clubbing human right violations with greed, the Vatican is sending all the wrong signals
Another speaker, activist from human rights organization Amnesty International, Amero Sanchez said "For several decades we have worked hard to create awareness about human rights and educate people about the value of protecting rights of all humans irrespective of their racial, communal or political affiliations. By clubbing human right violations along with common biologically-generated passions like lust or gluttony, the Vatican is sending wrong signals - that violating human rights is only as bad as having lustful thoughts in your head about your sexy girl-next-cubicle, having a seven-course meal or desiring to become rich quickly"
Activists dealing with victims of drug abuse are angry with the Vatican for treating drug-trafficking as just a sin and not recognizing it as a dangerous crime
"Our earth is facing a severe environmental crisis. Land degradation, depleting forest cover, polluted lakes, poor air quality, soil erosion and other such environmental horrors are causing diseases, causing extinction of thousands of species, creating food and water shortages and severely affecting the quality of life of billions. It is downright ridiculous on the part of Vatican to tag criminal activities causing environmental degradation as mere 'sins'." added Bill Lillie, director of Save the Earth foundation.
Pride or Sloth might be bad, but sloth or pride doesn't ravage the earth, pollute the air and waters and lay waste thousands of acres of fertile land, says Bill Lillie
"I was a proud sinner" bragged film-maker Michael Moore in a dramatic manner "I'm lustful, guilty of gluttony, greedy for publicity and fame, proud of my accomplishments as a film-maker, envious of slim people and wrathful towards republicans. But I'm also a good man. I care for the environment, I fight for protection of human rights, I stand for taking strong steps to end poverty, I am for increasing taxation for the super-rich and against propagation of genetically-modified crops."
"But with the new additions in the sin list, I'm in danger of becoming only half the sinner I was. I demand that the Vatican scrap the new sin list and let me remain the proud sinner I was" said Moore with a chuckle.
On March 9, 2008 the Vatican newspaper had published an interview with Bishop Gianfranco Girotti (head of the Apostolic Penitentiary, the Vatican body which oversees confessions and plenary indulgences), in which he listed seven modern social sins. These "social" sins were given as follows: Environmental pollution, Genetic manipulation, Accumulating excessive wealth, Inflicting poverty, Drug trafficking and consumption, Morally debatable experiments & Violation of fundamental rights of human nature
In a surprise move, hundreds of human rights organization from all over the world, political activists from many countries and activists from NGO's of all hues, jointly issued a statement demanding that the Vatican immediately scrap the new list of seven deadly sins as the inclusion of the activities listed in the new sin list can potentially damage the credibility and seriousness of the violations concerned with these activities and downgrade them from serious crimes to mere 'sins'
How can sexual attraction be equated with horrendous crimes of human rights violations like torture, asks human rights activist, Amero Sanchez
"The seven original sins listed by the church - Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy & pride - are not taken seriously even by devout catholics and are regarded as a joke by most people all over the world. By clubbing environmental & social crimes of a very serious nature along with the original list of sins, the Vatican is guilty of seriously undermining efforts of thousands of non-governmental organizations all over the world to stop environmental violations and prevent exploitation and abuse of weaker sections of society" said Dr. Joseph Sinatra, spokesperson of the newly created front.
Is subjecting prisoners to torture and abuse nothing worse than gluttony which many modern researchers claim is a disease arising of boredom and loneliness
At a protest-movement organized by the front outside the precincts of the Vatican, many activists spoke out against the expansion of the sin list. Environment activist and member of Greenpeace, John Passacantando pointed out that the so-called original seven 'deadly' sins are not regarded as sins even by most environmental and human right activists.
Inflicting poverty, directly or indirectly, is a social crime of mammoth proportions effecting billions of people. How can the Vatican club it would a frivolous emotion like envy which everyone suffers from at some time or other, communists and socialists demand to know
"The Media and its organs promote lust, multi-national food corporations promote gluttony; greed has been officially declared as good by advertisers and marketmen, anger and wrath are seen as important human emotions which should not be curbed, jealousy and envy are regarded as healthy emotions as long as they lead to self-improvement and competitiveness, people are encouraged to accomplish a lot and feel pride about their achievements. We live in a world where where these seven original sins are glamorized and promoted as virtues. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that the seven original deadly sins make the world go round. By clubbing environmental and social crimes with these 'sexy' sins, the Vatican is guilty of glamorizing serious crimes against the environment" screamed Mr. Passacantando at the rally.
Greed is good, shout advertisers from every hoarding. Human right activists fear that by clubbing human right violations with greed, the Vatican is sending all the wrong signals
Another speaker, activist from human rights organization Amnesty International, Amero Sanchez said "For several decades we have worked hard to create awareness about human rights and educate people about the value of protecting rights of all humans irrespective of their racial, communal or political affiliations. By clubbing human right violations along with common biologically-generated passions like lust or gluttony, the Vatican is sending wrong signals - that violating human rights is only as bad as having lustful thoughts in your head about your sexy girl-next-cubicle, having a seven-course meal or desiring to become rich quickly"
Activists dealing with victims of drug abuse are angry with the Vatican for treating drug-trafficking as just a sin and not recognizing it as a dangerous crime
"Our earth is facing a severe environmental crisis. Land degradation, depleting forest cover, polluted lakes, poor air quality, soil erosion and other such environmental horrors are causing diseases, causing extinction of thousands of species, creating food and water shortages and severely affecting the quality of life of billions. It is downright ridiculous on the part of Vatican to tag criminal activities causing environmental degradation as mere 'sins'." added Bill Lillie, director of Save the Earth foundation.
Pride or Sloth might be bad, but sloth or pride doesn't ravage the earth, pollute the air and waters and lay waste thousands of acres of fertile land, says Bill Lillie
"I was a proud sinner" bragged film-maker Michael Moore in a dramatic manner "I'm lustful, guilty of gluttony, greedy for publicity and fame, proud of my accomplishments as a film-maker, envious of slim people and wrathful towards republicans. But I'm also a good man. I care for the environment, I fight for protection of human rights, I stand for taking strong steps to end poverty, I am for increasing taxation for the super-rich and against propagation of genetically-modified crops."
"But with the new additions in the sin list, I'm in danger of becoming only half the sinner I was. I demand that the Vatican scrap the new sin list and let me remain the proud sinner I was" said Moore with a chuckle.
Mar 12, 2008
Freakonomics - The role of email chain letters in making our world a better place
New York: Stephen Dubner & Steven Levitt, the duo behind the best-seller Freakonomics, the book that set to explore the hidden side of everything, in their latest blogpost have claimed they have discovered the solution to all the problems of the world. The rogue economist, who along with his journalist collaborator burst into international spotlight following the runaway success of his book which has till date sold nearly 3 million copies worldwide, has set the tongues wagging by making an astounding claim - that the key to making the world a better, happier and a prosperous place is the humble and ubiquitous email chain letter.
"For last few months we have been investigating the curious phenomena of the inexplicable popularity of chain mails and discovered that they are more popular in fast-developing, high-growth economies like India where almost everyone with an email id receives and forwards more than a 10-20 chain mails in a year. That set us thinking - Is it just a coincidence that Indians owning personal computers and having an email id also happen to be India's most prosperous and high-income earning group. We began to wonder if there was more to this phenomenon than anyone could have imagined." wrote Levitt.
"What could explain millions of highly educated, rational group of Indians, forwarding mails and power-point presentations that made wild claims of instant luck, immediate prosperity and qualitative life improvement all in matter of a week? Could it be that people who were forwarding such mails were actually enjoying increased luck and instant life improvement, which encouraged them to keep following the instructions on these chain letters obediently? We conducted a quick survey which confirmed our suspicions - that people with email ids who forwarded chain mails promising instant luck and prosperity mostly belonged to high-income groups and were indeed more prosperous than those without computers and email ids."
According to Levitt, "It became increasingly self-evident that the main reason for the dichotomy visible in Indian society - an ever-increasing group of highly educated an prosperous middle-class enjoying the benefits of a flourishing economy growing at the rate of 8-9% annually in sharp contrast with vast majority of poor people living in dire poverty - was that the former group had access to personal computers allowing them to actively participate in the business of chain mail forwarding."
The duo called upon governments of developing countries worldwide to invest heavily in computer literacy and in subsidizing personal computers to people in their countries living in poverty. "The chain email letter is a wonderful invention that has bestowed instant luck and prosperity to millions of people and has the potential of eradicating impoverishment, misfortune and ill-luck for ever from the face of the earth. Once the initial investment has been made in ensuing 100% computer literacy and accessibility of computers to everyone, luck-granting chain mails can be received and forwarded at zero cost, allowing all the inhabitant of our planet to enjoy luck, wealth and happiness."
"We have also found that the content of the chain letter makes no difference to the success of the letter in delivering luck and life-improvement to the forwarder of such emails. Any image of any god or goddess, inspirational message or good luck charm can be used to create a chain letter. The success of the letter depends on how enticing the promised rewards are."
In an effort to contribute towards making our world a better place, the maverick economist and the NYT journalist duo have designed their very own chain mail letter and have instructed all the readers of his book to forward it to everyone on their contact list.
"For last few months we have been investigating the curious phenomena of the inexplicable popularity of chain mails and discovered that they are more popular in fast-developing, high-growth economies like India where almost everyone with an email id receives and forwards more than a 10-20 chain mails in a year. That set us thinking - Is it just a coincidence that Indians owning personal computers and having an email id also happen to be India's most prosperous and high-income earning group. We began to wonder if there was more to this phenomenon than anyone could have imagined." wrote Levitt.
"What could explain millions of highly educated, rational group of Indians, forwarding mails and power-point presentations that made wild claims of instant luck, immediate prosperity and qualitative life improvement all in matter of a week? Could it be that people who were forwarding such mails were actually enjoying increased luck and instant life improvement, which encouraged them to keep following the instructions on these chain letters obediently? We conducted a quick survey which confirmed our suspicions - that people with email ids who forwarded chain mails promising instant luck and prosperity mostly belonged to high-income groups and were indeed more prosperous than those without computers and email ids."
According to Levitt, "It became increasingly self-evident that the main reason for the dichotomy visible in Indian society - an ever-increasing group of highly educated an prosperous middle-class enjoying the benefits of a flourishing economy growing at the rate of 8-9% annually in sharp contrast with vast majority of poor people living in dire poverty - was that the former group had access to personal computers allowing them to actively participate in the business of chain mail forwarding."
The duo called upon governments of developing countries worldwide to invest heavily in computer literacy and in subsidizing personal computers to people in their countries living in poverty. "The chain email letter is a wonderful invention that has bestowed instant luck and prosperity to millions of people and has the potential of eradicating impoverishment, misfortune and ill-luck for ever from the face of the earth. Once the initial investment has been made in ensuing 100% computer literacy and accessibility of computers to everyone, luck-granting chain mails can be received and forwarded at zero cost, allowing all the inhabitant of our planet to enjoy luck, wealth and happiness."
"We have also found that the content of the chain letter makes no difference to the success of the letter in delivering luck and life-improvement to the forwarder of such emails. Any image of any god or goddess, inspirational message or good luck charm can be used to create a chain letter. The success of the letter depends on how enticing the promised rewards are."
In an effort to contribute towards making our world a better place, the maverick economist and the NYT journalist duo have designed their very own chain mail letter and have instructed all the readers of his book to forward it to everyone on their contact list.
Mar 9, 2008
Pritam: I'm a music importer & distributer, not a copycat
With around 15 films in his hand, Pritam Chakraborty is perhaps the busiest and amongst the most successful music director in industry right now. Not to forget one of the most controversial ones in the business too. Ever since itwofs.com, a website devoted to plagiarism in hindi film music, has exposed Pritam's blatant plagiarism, the composer has been recipient of virulent criticism from fans who have been disappointed to find out that virtually every hit song composed by him has been inspired from some Indonesian or Turkish number
In an exclusive conversation, the untalented music director bravely tries to stave off charges of plagiarism and insists that he fully deserves all the success he has enjoyed in his brief stint at music composing.
Almost every song that you have composed has been proved to have been a blatant copy of Turkish, Indonesian or Middle-Eastern tracks. One very popular website tracking plagiarism in bollywood has listed nearly 50 tracks that you have shamelessly copied from various bands worldwide. You have now replaced Anu Malik as Bollywood's # 1 copy-cat.
I've never denied that I lift foreign tunes for my movies. Yes, I've used Turkish and Indonesian tunes and will continue to use them in future too.
You don't sound very apologetic..
Why should I? Please don't use words like 'shamelessly' for the hard work I do to entertain the masses. I don't...
Hard work?
I don't consider using foreign tunes for my movies as copying. I'm actually doing a great service to the nation by exposing millions of Indians to world music, a kind of music they would have been never exposed to in the normal course of their lives. But due to the hard work I do spending countless hours listening to bands around the world, weeding out the average, poor, bad and terrible songs and selecting the best ones, music lovers in India get to enjoy some of the best music being composed all over the world.
Isn't composing original tunes harder than merely copying them?
Not really. Composing original music requires natural genius, not much of hard work. Some of the best tunes ever have been composed in less than five minutes. But copying music entails hours and hours of listening to boring and tedious music in the hope of discovering a single gem. And when you hit upon a great track, it takes some amount of musical talent to realize immediately that you are listening to a winner track, which is really very difficult when you are listening to tracks in languages that you don't understand.
What about things like copyright? Don't the original composers deserve royalty from all the money you and your producers make?
Do you purchase every song of mine that you enjoy? Crores of people enjoy my music, but only a few thousand of them buy cassettes and CD's of my albums, while the rest download them illegally or listen for free on tv or radio.
Is it fair that original composers like Ismail Darbaar or Adesh Srivastava who refuse to plagiarise, should be out of work while a copycat like you should be raking in the moolah?
Who said life is fair? If you observe how real life works, you will notice that people who are original, people who invent new stuff and people who make new discoveries never make as much money as those who distribute their original inventions. Most of the inventors of the gadgets we use are anonymous, often poorly-paid scientists working quietly in their labs, while the big multinational corporations who manufacture, market and distribute their inventions are the ones making billions off their inventions
I'm rich and successful because I provide value-addition to my film producers and record companies by guarantying them superhit music. I import good-quality, high-standard music from Turkey, Indonesia and many other counties, process it in my studios, remake and distribute it to a large, music-hungry market like India.
Importing, distributing..you sound so business-like. Isn't it more like bootlegging? Aren't you afraid that the law will one day catch up with you? Doesn't the prospect of being sued by the original composers of your songs worry you?
You don't quite understand how it works. I only copy music whose copyright is held not by the artists, but by their music companies. My producers ensure that they sign up the same record company which holds the copyright for the music I copy. A record company like Sony when it signs up a Turkish or an Indonesian band would usually be able to sell their albums only in their home countries. But using my services, they are able to expand the market of such bands to a huge market like India and also an equally big NRI market.
Aah..So you work undercover for Sony Records too?
Yes, Sonny
In an exclusive conversation, the untalented music director bravely tries to stave off charges of plagiarism and insists that he fully deserves all the success he has enjoyed in his brief stint at music composing.
Almost every song that you have composed has been proved to have been a blatant copy of Turkish, Indonesian or Middle-Eastern tracks. One very popular website tracking plagiarism in bollywood has listed nearly 50 tracks that you have shamelessly copied from various bands worldwide. You have now replaced Anu Malik as Bollywood's # 1 copy-cat.
I've never denied that I lift foreign tunes for my movies. Yes, I've used Turkish and Indonesian tunes and will continue to use them in future too.
You don't sound very apologetic..
Why should I? Please don't use words like 'shamelessly' for the hard work I do to entertain the masses. I don't...
Hard work?
I don't consider using foreign tunes for my movies as copying. I'm actually doing a great service to the nation by exposing millions of Indians to world music, a kind of music they would have been never exposed to in the normal course of their lives. But due to the hard work I do spending countless hours listening to bands around the world, weeding out the average, poor, bad and terrible songs and selecting the best ones, music lovers in India get to enjoy some of the best music being composed all over the world.
Isn't composing original tunes harder than merely copying them?
Not really. Composing original music requires natural genius, not much of hard work. Some of the best tunes ever have been composed in less than five minutes. But copying music entails hours and hours of listening to boring and tedious music in the hope of discovering a single gem. And when you hit upon a great track, it takes some amount of musical talent to realize immediately that you are listening to a winner track, which is really very difficult when you are listening to tracks in languages that you don't understand.
What about things like copyright? Don't the original composers deserve royalty from all the money you and your producers make?
Do you purchase every song of mine that you enjoy? Crores of people enjoy my music, but only a few thousand of them buy cassettes and CD's of my albums, while the rest download them illegally or listen for free on tv or radio.
Is it fair that original composers like Ismail Darbaar or Adesh Srivastava who refuse to plagiarise, should be out of work while a copycat like you should be raking in the moolah?
Who said life is fair? If you observe how real life works, you will notice that people who are original, people who invent new stuff and people who make new discoveries never make as much money as those who distribute their original inventions. Most of the inventors of the gadgets we use are anonymous, often poorly-paid scientists working quietly in their labs, while the big multinational corporations who manufacture, market and distribute their inventions are the ones making billions off their inventions
I'm rich and successful because I provide value-addition to my film producers and record companies by guarantying them superhit music. I import good-quality, high-standard music from Turkey, Indonesia and many other counties, process it in my studios, remake and distribute it to a large, music-hungry market like India.
Importing, distributing..you sound so business-like. Isn't it more like bootlegging? Aren't you afraid that the law will one day catch up with you? Doesn't the prospect of being sued by the original composers of your songs worry you?
You don't quite understand how it works. I only copy music whose copyright is held not by the artists, but by their music companies. My producers ensure that they sign up the same record company which holds the copyright for the music I copy. A record company like Sony when it signs up a Turkish or an Indonesian band would usually be able to sell their albums only in their home countries. But using my services, they are able to expand the market of such bands to a huge market like India and also an equally big NRI market.
Aah..So you work undercover for Sony Records too?
Yes, Sonny
Mar 5, 2008
PETA protests against PETA
Mumbai - Activists of animal rights and welfare organization, People for ethical treatment to animals (PETA), today staged a dharna outside the offices of Poultry & Egg Traders Association (PETA) protesting against the cruel treatment meted out to chickens by the chicken-meat and egg industry.
PETA India Chief, Anuradha Sawhney, issued a strong statement decrying the way chickens are kept and transported in small, cramped and unhygienic cages, in conditions that are inhuman and almost unchicken.
An egg farm in Kalyan, Thane (left) where 7-8 chicken are crammed in tiny cages the size of a paper sheet. Do chickens face a future as horrific as that of Mumbai commuters (right) who are crammed in worse conditions, often forced to hang outside the compartments, many a times on top of the compartments due to lack of space inside.
"At present the poultry industry follows no standards and poor chicken are kept and transported in conditions that are almost as bad as that of commuters traveling by Mumbai locals. Like humans jam-packed in Mumbai's local trains, chicken are squeezed into tiny compartments with little breathing space. In egg farms six to seven chickens are crammed together inside cages the size of a sheet of paper, almost akin to the way Mumbai train commuters are stuffed inside the train compartments.
"Chickens who are raised for their flesh spend their entire lives in massive sheds with tens of thousands of other birds, similar to the way Mumbai rail commuters spend a major part of their entire lives in trains with tens of thousands of other commuters."
Chickens crammed in sheds with tens of thousands of other chicken in conditions resembling human commuters from Mumbai in train compartments and railway stations.
"During transportation, they are locked in cages that are very poorly ventilated. A chicken needs at least one-fourth of its surrounding space to be ventilated, but most cages that are used to transport them don't meet these standards, causing cages to be heated up, resulting in acute discomfort to chicken." said Ms Sahney. "This nightmarish situation is not very different from the condition of Mumbai locals where ventilation is minimum resulting in rail compartments getting extremely hot causing sweating and intense discomfort to the rail commuters."
Chicken packed in poorly ventilated cages (left). Will the authorities wake-up to their plight only when their conditions become as bad as that of Mumbai rail commuters (right)?
"Unless, the government sets up a regulatory mechanism to prevent chicken-abuse due to these cramped conditions, it wouldn't be too long before the condition of chicken would worsen as much as that of Mumbai rail commuters." stated Anuradha Sawhney
PETA India Chief, Anuradha Sawhney, issued a strong statement decrying the way chickens are kept and transported in small, cramped and unhygienic cages, in conditions that are inhuman and almost unchicken.
An egg farm in Kalyan, Thane (left) where 7-8 chicken are crammed in tiny cages the size of a paper sheet. Do chickens face a future as horrific as that of Mumbai commuters (right) who are crammed in worse conditions, often forced to hang outside the compartments, many a times on top of the compartments due to lack of space inside.
"At present the poultry industry follows no standards and poor chicken are kept and transported in conditions that are almost as bad as that of commuters traveling by Mumbai locals. Like humans jam-packed in Mumbai's local trains, chicken are squeezed into tiny compartments with little breathing space. In egg farms six to seven chickens are crammed together inside cages the size of a sheet of paper, almost akin to the way Mumbai train commuters are stuffed inside the train compartments.
"Chickens who are raised for their flesh spend their entire lives in massive sheds with tens of thousands of other birds, similar to the way Mumbai rail commuters spend a major part of their entire lives in trains with tens of thousands of other commuters."
Chickens crammed in sheds with tens of thousands of other chicken in conditions resembling human commuters from Mumbai in train compartments and railway stations.
"During transportation, they are locked in cages that are very poorly ventilated. A chicken needs at least one-fourth of its surrounding space to be ventilated, but most cages that are used to transport them don't meet these standards, causing cages to be heated up, resulting in acute discomfort to chicken." said Ms Sahney. "This nightmarish situation is not very different from the condition of Mumbai locals where ventilation is minimum resulting in rail compartments getting extremely hot causing sweating and intense discomfort to the rail commuters."
Chicken packed in poorly ventilated cages (left). Will the authorities wake-up to their plight only when their conditions become as bad as that of Mumbai rail commuters (right)?
"Unless, the government sets up a regulatory mechanism to prevent chicken-abuse due to these cramped conditions, it wouldn't be too long before the condition of chicken would worsen as much as that of Mumbai rail commuters." stated Anuradha Sawhney
Mar 4, 2008
Life: Vijay Golpade - A Life More Ordinary
In these Life columns, we feature ordinary people living extremely boring and ordinary lives with good cheer, a tinge of regret, an undercurrent of despair, but nevertheless with hope for something better however bleak their situations might be, however improbable the possibility of their hopes turning to reality.
This weeks antihero, our featured average joe, is Vijay Golpade, an amiable young guy who lives his life without a purpose plodding through life wherever it leads him. On a routine day, Vijay goes to work, chats with his workmates, comes back to his tiny shack, smokes a few ciggies, bumps into his neighbors, screams at his wife of nine years, scolds his kids, throws a few pebbles at barking dogs, hums a tune or two, drifts off to sleep. On a non-routine day, he goes to work, gets scolded by his supervisor, gets ragged mercilessly by his workmates, comes back to his tiny shack, smokes a few extra ciggies, bumps into his landlord, gets a dressing down from his wife of nine years, gets taunted by his kids, throws a few pebbles at dogs barking at him, gets irritated at everyone humming tunes, drifts off to sleep. On a special day, which mostly comes once a fortnight, sometimes just once a month, his wife agrees to fuck him.
In his 37 years of existence, Golpade has trudged his way through school, failed attempts to graduate from college, mountain of debt accrued from marrying off his sister after the untimely death of his father without leaving him a penny, string of poorly-paid jobs, a somewhat successful marriage and an occasional trip to Shirdi or a vacation at Lonawala.
"I like singing and I think with some training I might become a middling to good singer. Though my voice tends to crack while singing high notes, with little bit of training I might learn to sing at few octaves lower. Sometimes I wish I should audition for at least the 'Bathroom Singer' show, but my wife starts laughing hysterically every time I talk about it and pleads me to spare her the embarrassment" said Golpade to our reporter.
His wife, Premlata, denied that she laughs hysterically whenever he talks about auditioning for TV shows. "Yes, I do laugh off his ideas of becoming a television star and sometimes its difficult to control my laughter at his daydreams, but I would never intentionally hurt him by laughing hysterically at his face" she said with a smile, offering a plate of cookies. "I too do wish that he should do something with his life, set goals for himself, take charge of his life and try to make things happen. But when I talk about goals, I mean realistic, achievable goals that would better his life and help create a good future for our kids, not silly day-dreams of becoming a talent-show participant."
"I'm quite content with my life" countered Vijay, "Things could have been better, but my life isn't too bad. I got a job, a roof to live under, a good wife who serves me food twice a day, two great kids, friendly co-workers, tolerable boss, nice neighbors, my ciggies and my music"
Not true actually. A lousy job, just a roof and four walls, a nagging wife who denies him frequent fucks till he gets going in his life, two kids whose future looks as bleak as his own, nasty co-workers, brute of a boss, tolerable neighbors, ciggies which will eventually kill his lungs and delusions of musical talent.
But like every ordinary person living with hope and good cheer, Vijay Golpade likes to look at the glass of his life as half full, even as he finishes off another boring day failing to set any goal or achieve anything substantial.
This weeks antihero, our featured average joe, is Vijay Golpade, an amiable young guy who lives his life without a purpose plodding through life wherever it leads him. On a routine day, Vijay goes to work, chats with his workmates, comes back to his tiny shack, smokes a few ciggies, bumps into his neighbors, screams at his wife of nine years, scolds his kids, throws a few pebbles at barking dogs, hums a tune or two, drifts off to sleep. On a non-routine day, he goes to work, gets scolded by his supervisor, gets ragged mercilessly by his workmates, comes back to his tiny shack, smokes a few extra ciggies, bumps into his landlord, gets a dressing down from his wife of nine years, gets taunted by his kids, throws a few pebbles at dogs barking at him, gets irritated at everyone humming tunes, drifts off to sleep. On a special day, which mostly comes once a fortnight, sometimes just once a month, his wife agrees to fuck him.
In his 37 years of existence, Golpade has trudged his way through school, failed attempts to graduate from college, mountain of debt accrued from marrying off his sister after the untimely death of his father without leaving him a penny, string of poorly-paid jobs, a somewhat successful marriage and an occasional trip to Shirdi or a vacation at Lonawala.
"I like singing and I think with some training I might become a middling to good singer. Though my voice tends to crack while singing high notes, with little bit of training I might learn to sing at few octaves lower. Sometimes I wish I should audition for at least the 'Bathroom Singer' show, but my wife starts laughing hysterically every time I talk about it and pleads me to spare her the embarrassment" said Golpade to our reporter.
His wife, Premlata, denied that she laughs hysterically whenever he talks about auditioning for TV shows. "Yes, I do laugh off his ideas of becoming a television star and sometimes its difficult to control my laughter at his daydreams, but I would never intentionally hurt him by laughing hysterically at his face" she said with a smile, offering a plate of cookies. "I too do wish that he should do something with his life, set goals for himself, take charge of his life and try to make things happen. But when I talk about goals, I mean realistic, achievable goals that would better his life and help create a good future for our kids, not silly day-dreams of becoming a talent-show participant."
"I'm quite content with my life" countered Vijay, "Things could have been better, but my life isn't too bad. I got a job, a roof to live under, a good wife who serves me food twice a day, two great kids, friendly co-workers, tolerable boss, nice neighbors, my ciggies and my music"
Not true actually. A lousy job, just a roof and four walls, a nagging wife who denies him frequent fucks till he gets going in his life, two kids whose future looks as bleak as his own, nasty co-workers, brute of a boss, tolerable neighbors, ciggies which will eventually kill his lungs and delusions of musical talent.
But like every ordinary person living with hope and good cheer, Vijay Golpade likes to look at the glass of his life as half full, even as he finishes off another boring day failing to set any goal or achieve anything substantial.
Mar 3, 2008
Business: Times of India Group Unveils "Wealthex"
Mumbai - The Times of India Group Publications today announced the introduction of a special index which would record the rising and declining fortunes of India's topmost billionaires. This new group of indices which would be referred as 'Wealthex' would be subdivided into four sub-indices - Fabfive, TopTen, FantasticFifty & HotHundred and monitor the wealth generated and lost by India's top five, ten, fifty and hundred wealthiest people.
Announcing the establishment of wealth based indices, Mr. Vivek Jain, Managing Editor of Times of India, said that wealth index would enable millions of star-stuck followers of India's business tycoons to keep abreast of the quantum of wealth generated or lost by them on a minute-to-minute basis. Explaining the equations of these indices, Mr Jain said that one index point would be equal to Rs.100 crores. This extremely simple model of index calculations would enable people to easily convert movement in indices to the equivalent value in crores of rupee and also allow easily determination of rankings of individual billionaires on the wealth charts.
When Mr. Jain was asked by a reporter why people would want to know the exact quantum of wealth owned by India's richest on a minute-to-minute basis, he answered, "The inspiration to develop a wealth index arose from our observation of traffic details of articles on our website featuring the statistics of wealth lost by India's richest during stock market crashes. We were surprised to see that such articles registered abnormally higher number of hits in comparison to our regular articles and news stories, indicating that our readers were tremendously interested in knowing how much of wealth erosion is suffered by India's wealthiest during stock market downturns."
"Intrigued by this observation, we launched deeper investigations through which we learned that our readers derived pleasure from learning about the extent of losses suffered by members of the billionaires club, especially at the time of sudden market crashes. One of our readers we surveyed for our investigations revealed - 'Knowing that market crashes do not spare even the richest of the rich, helps soften the blow of such crashes to a very large extent. When stock markets crash by 10-15%, my portfolio gets eroded by only a few lacs but such a crash wipes out thousands of crores from assets of Mukesh Ambani. Knowing that India's wealthiest suffer thousands of times more losses than me makes it considerably easier for me to digest the pain of loss of few lacs' - Our readers are a very queer lot unable to grasp that with assets running into tens of thousands of crores, the wealthiest people of the country don't actually suffer or even register any feelings of loss when faced with erosion of few thousand crores of their assets" Mr. Jain said with a sound that almost sounded like a snigger.
"With the introduction of Wealthex, we are hoping to fill the void generated when the action in the stock markets becomes too hot to handle and results in indifference towards sensex movements." added Mr Jain.
Mr. Jain admitted that focusing so much of attention on following the wealth of a few elites in a country where more than half the population survives on less than a dollar a day is highly unwarranted. "We had initially thought of developing an index that would monitor India's development, growth, per capita income levels and rise/decline in poverty levels. But we soon realized that indices focusing on macro-economic statistics are extremely slow-moving and highly predictable.Unlike stock market created booms and busts, which create & destroy thousands of crores of wealth in matter of days and weeks, development-based indices remain more or less static, moving by minute percentage points over longish periods of time."
"In these times of fast-paced life, people desire fast-moving action & ceaseless excitement, even if the action comes from other people who are moving fast in life and not them, even when all the excitement is happening in the lives of someone else. With this wealth index, we will provide people with fast-moving action & ceaseless excitement happening in the lives of the rich and the famous which we hope will fill the void generated from lack of action and excitement in their own lives." concluded Mr. Jain
Announcing the establishment of wealth based indices, Mr. Vivek Jain, Managing Editor of Times of India, said that wealth index would enable millions of star-stuck followers of India's business tycoons to keep abreast of the quantum of wealth generated or lost by them on a minute-to-minute basis. Explaining the equations of these indices, Mr Jain said that one index point would be equal to Rs.100 crores. This extremely simple model of index calculations would enable people to easily convert movement in indices to the equivalent value in crores of rupee and also allow easily determination of rankings of individual billionaires on the wealth charts.
When Mr. Jain was asked by a reporter why people would want to know the exact quantum of wealth owned by India's richest on a minute-to-minute basis, he answered, "The inspiration to develop a wealth index arose from our observation of traffic details of articles on our website featuring the statistics of wealth lost by India's richest during stock market crashes. We were surprised to see that such articles registered abnormally higher number of hits in comparison to our regular articles and news stories, indicating that our readers were tremendously interested in knowing how much of wealth erosion is suffered by India's wealthiest during stock market downturns."
"Intrigued by this observation, we launched deeper investigations through which we learned that our readers derived pleasure from learning about the extent of losses suffered by members of the billionaires club, especially at the time of sudden market crashes. One of our readers we surveyed for our investigations revealed - 'Knowing that market crashes do not spare even the richest of the rich, helps soften the blow of such crashes to a very large extent. When stock markets crash by 10-15%, my portfolio gets eroded by only a few lacs but such a crash wipes out thousands of crores from assets of Mukesh Ambani. Knowing that India's wealthiest suffer thousands of times more losses than me makes it considerably easier for me to digest the pain of loss of few lacs' - Our readers are a very queer lot unable to grasp that with assets running into tens of thousands of crores, the wealthiest people of the country don't actually suffer or even register any feelings of loss when faced with erosion of few thousand crores of their assets" Mr. Jain said with a sound that almost sounded like a snigger.
"With the introduction of Wealthex, we are hoping to fill the void generated when the action in the stock markets becomes too hot to handle and results in indifference towards sensex movements." added Mr Jain.
Mr. Jain admitted that focusing so much of attention on following the wealth of a few elites in a country where more than half the population survives on less than a dollar a day is highly unwarranted. "We had initially thought of developing an index that would monitor India's development, growth, per capita income levels and rise/decline in poverty levels. But we soon realized that indices focusing on macro-economic statistics are extremely slow-moving and highly predictable.Unlike stock market created booms and busts, which create & destroy thousands of crores of wealth in matter of days and weeks, development-based indices remain more or less static, moving by minute percentage points over longish periods of time."
"In these times of fast-paced life, people desire fast-moving action & ceaseless excitement, even if the action comes from other people who are moving fast in life and not them, even when all the excitement is happening in the lives of someone else. With this wealth index, we will provide people with fast-moving action & ceaseless excitement happening in the lives of the rich and the famous which we hope will fill the void generated from lack of action and excitement in their own lives." concluded Mr. Jain
Mar 2, 2008
M.F.Hussain to Paint Currency Notes featuring Amrita Rao
LONDON: Burdened by increasing needs and obligations, tempted by endless wants and desires, do you sometimes wish you had your own money-printing press minting as much money for you as you need? While printing India's legal tender illegally can put you behind bars for decades, there are a few privileged people who are adept at the art of printing...err painting money and minting crores without the fear of law catching up with them.
Legendary painter MF Hussain is one of those privileged few who can get away painting their own money legitimately and lawfully. In last few decades of his painting career, Hussain has painted money on canvas worth several crores of rupees. Announcing his latest money-painting venture from his residence in London, the exiled painter MF Hussain (exiled from India for reasons that have nothing to do with the currency painting racket he runs) today disclosed that he will be painting a new series of currency notes varying from denomination of Rs.75 lacs to Rs.1.50 crore. Each note will at the center of its canvas carry a very rough sketch of Bollywood actress Amrita Rao, his latest inspiration and muse.
Almost a decade back, Hussain had painted currency notes worth several crores featuring bollywood queen Madhuri Dixit. Although most of her fans were not able to recognize the rough sketches painted on the notes as that of Ms Dixit, Hussain's word carried enough weight to put all doubts to rest and everyone accepted without much objection, that the abstract outline of a female sketched on Hussain's currency notes was none other than the reigning diva of Bollywood.
One peculiar feature about the Madhuri currency notes was that in almost all the sketches the actresses face (see below) was completely blank without facial organs like eyes, nose, nostrils, mouth, cheeks - organs that are regularly and without any exception found on faces of all humans. But even more peculiarly, this amazing absence of facial features, including eyebrows raised no eyebrows considering that only a few centuries back, Leonardo Da Vinci had painted a female face that was lacking only eyebrows, yet it raised a million eyebrows and to date continues to raise millions of eyebrows.
Series of currency notes painted by MF Hussain featuring outlines of a female specified as Madhuri Dixit
While people, even after all these centuries, are still wondering why Mona Lisa, the lady without eyebrows and eyelashes, had no eyebrow and eyelashes on her face, it is a surprise why art affectionados are not missing Maduri Dixit's eyes, eyebrows, cheeks, nose or mouth despite their very visible absence. It is not known why Hussain chooses to not paint facial parts and very surprisingly there have been no attempts to discover the reason for his disinclination to paint them, though there are rumors and speculations galore.
According to one such rumor, MF Hussain never managed to learn painting the complexities of human facial features and his art teachers at JJ School of Art, Mumbai lost patience with him and threw him out of the institution after just one year of the course. (How Hussain from being almost a dyslexic painter went on to become India's foremost artist is another story that would need another article) Another rumor says that Hussain being a big fan of the maestro, the legendary renaissance genius, Learnado Da Vinci and his famous eyebrow-less Mona Lisa painting, reasoned that if painting a face without eyebrows can result in the painting reaching dizzying heights of fame and occupying the most unique position in art history, than painting faces without any facial features should similarly raise his stature and the stature of his paintings to such dizzying heights.
Whatever might be the truth of these rumors, the fact is that today, MF Hussain occupies a unique position in art & currency market, where the merits or demerits of his art do not matter much. All Hussain has to do is to draw a few lines on his canvas, announce to the world what those lines represent and immediately his canvas gets converted into currency notes worth crores of rupees.
It is rumored that the sketches of Amrita Rao on his latest currency notes too would be devoid of facial features. Art lovers all over the world are expected to accept that the abstract outline of the female that will be sketched on the notes will be that of Amrita Rao. The actress is not expected to raise any objection at her facial disfigurement, nor is the lack of facial features expected to reduce the value of his notes from their quoted value.
Mar 1, 2008
Being God means never having to say - Sorry, I screwed up"
Ahoy Devotees, today I'm gonna have a honest talk with you, not as god to worshipers, more like buddy-to-buddy.
I love being your god. Its the most amazing feeling you can ever experience, a feeling of specialness that can come only from being a god. I love being omniscient, I love being so majestic, so damn superior to all of you. I love towering above the rest of you from my safe confines where you cannot touch me or harm me. I love being divine, infinite, all-knowing, all-powerful entity.
Am I really all that infinite, majestic, all-knowing, all-powerful divine entity? Not really! But since you guys can never know any better, I can pretend to be all of the above and get away with it (Laughter).
I'll be honest with you. I might be your creator, but I too can make mistakes. I too can can screw up things.
But the best part of being a god is never having to say "Sorry, I screwed up". Being God allows me to get away with anything and everything. I can mess up a trillion lives across innumerable sections of the universe and no one would be any wiser that it was I who made all the mess.
The privileges that I revel in are enormous. I can bask in the glory of being a god without being answerable for any of my actions. I hear zillions and zillions of cries all the time from the vast corners of my universe - Oh God, Why Me? Being God means being able to ignore their miserable whines to the point where they give up and conclude that I don't exist. Ho Ho Ho. Being God means freedom to spread confusion all around. I can erect towers of babels all over and transmit different messages to different groups of devotees and have them kill each other disputing which of the message comes from the true god.
Being God means never having to come up with honest answers for difficult questions. Why Thee, You ask? Pick from any of the below:
a) Coz you have been bad in past lives and your karma is catching up with you. Be good and you might enjoy a better life in your next birth.
b) Cheer up, dude! You will go to heaven when you die while the others (those who are having a blast) will go to hell
c) You are born on this planet to worship me. So stop your cribbing and worship me.
d) Life on earth is like attending a school. Stop watching the damned idiot box that is making you jealous of those having a time of their lives and concentrate on your lessons.
e) Be grateful for all the goodies I've provided you with. Be grateful for the tasty chicken curry you had last night. The chickens have had it worse
f) The reason for your suffering is hidden and mysterious. Only I'm supposed to know it. Your job is to get on with your life and worship me whenever you get free time. Do it with good cheer and you might one day know the reason for your suffering. Bad attitude will get you nowhere, Sonny.
Of course, there will always be some who will refuse to buy my answers. There will be always pests who will ask troublesome questions like if there is god and if god is good why there is so much evil? Why do tiny babies have to suffer? Why earthquakes? Why floods and tornadoes? But these buggers will never guess the real answer to these hard questions. They will keep asking these questions to all the wrong people who don't know any better and not getting satisfactory replies from them will conclude that I'm fiction, that I don't exist. Hah! Suits me well.
My friends, now you know the answer to these troublesome questions that have been plaguing mankind, monkeykind, reptilekind, angelkind, demonkind and all the rest of kinds since ages. The answer is that I screwed up! I screwed up badly! I screwed up massively! I made many miscalculations. Many fatal errors crept in my algorithms undetected by me till it was too late to rectify them.
But the good thing for me is that I don't have to repent when I've the power to make you repent. So keep on repenting for eternity or till I get bored of my universe, squash it with my big fist and end your collective misery, dear people.
Pssst. You don't have to believe a word of what I just channeled to you, my friends. My great foe, the Devil could have channeled all of the above to spread disinformation about me, to show me in poor light, to present me as less magnificent creature than I really am.
Being God means never having to be accountable for my own words.
Love & Peace
God (or Satan or any Schmuck you choose to believe in)
~~As channeled by neonsense
I love being your god. Its the most amazing feeling you can ever experience, a feeling of specialness that can come only from being a god. I love being omniscient, I love being so majestic, so damn superior to all of you. I love towering above the rest of you from my safe confines where you cannot touch me or harm me. I love being divine, infinite, all-knowing, all-powerful entity.
Am I really all that infinite, majestic, all-knowing, all-powerful divine entity? Not really! But since you guys can never know any better, I can pretend to be all of the above and get away with it (Laughter).
I'll be honest with you. I might be your creator, but I too can make mistakes. I too can can screw up things.
But the best part of being a god is never having to say "Sorry, I screwed up". Being God allows me to get away with anything and everything. I can mess up a trillion lives across innumerable sections of the universe and no one would be any wiser that it was I who made all the mess.
The privileges that I revel in are enormous. I can bask in the glory of being a god without being answerable for any of my actions. I hear zillions and zillions of cries all the time from the vast corners of my universe - Oh God, Why Me? Being God means being able to ignore their miserable whines to the point where they give up and conclude that I don't exist. Ho Ho Ho. Being God means freedom to spread confusion all around. I can erect towers of babels all over and transmit different messages to different groups of devotees and have them kill each other disputing which of the message comes from the true god.
Being God means never having to come up with honest answers for difficult questions. Why Thee, You ask? Pick from any of the below:
a) Coz you have been bad in past lives and your karma is catching up with you. Be good and you might enjoy a better life in your next birth.
b) Cheer up, dude! You will go to heaven when you die while the others (those who are having a blast) will go to hell
c) You are born on this planet to worship me. So stop your cribbing and worship me.
d) Life on earth is like attending a school. Stop watching the damned idiot box that is making you jealous of those having a time of their lives and concentrate on your lessons.
e) Be grateful for all the goodies I've provided you with. Be grateful for the tasty chicken curry you had last night. The chickens have had it worse
f) The reason for your suffering is hidden and mysterious. Only I'm supposed to know it. Your job is to get on with your life and worship me whenever you get free time. Do it with good cheer and you might one day know the reason for your suffering. Bad attitude will get you nowhere, Sonny.
Of course, there will always be some who will refuse to buy my answers. There will be always pests who will ask troublesome questions like if there is god and if god is good why there is so much evil? Why do tiny babies have to suffer? Why earthquakes? Why floods and tornadoes? But these buggers will never guess the real answer to these hard questions. They will keep asking these questions to all the wrong people who don't know any better and not getting satisfactory replies from them will conclude that I'm fiction, that I don't exist. Hah! Suits me well.
My friends, now you know the answer to these troublesome questions that have been plaguing mankind, monkeykind, reptilekind, angelkind, demonkind and all the rest of kinds since ages. The answer is that I screwed up! I screwed up badly! I screwed up massively! I made many miscalculations. Many fatal errors crept in my algorithms undetected by me till it was too late to rectify them.
But the good thing for me is that I don't have to repent when I've the power to make you repent. So keep on repenting for eternity or till I get bored of my universe, squash it with my big fist and end your collective misery, dear people.
Pssst. You don't have to believe a word of what I just channeled to you, my friends. My great foe, the Devil could have channeled all of the above to spread disinformation about me, to show me in poor light, to present me as less magnificent creature than I really am.
Being God means never having to be accountable for my own words.
Love & Peace
God (or Satan or any Schmuck you choose to believe in)
~~As channeled by neonsense
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
