Being God means never having to say - Sorry, I screwed up"

Ahoy Devotees, today I'm gonna have a honest talk with you, not as god to worshipers, more like buddy-to-buddy.

I love being your god. Its the most amazing feeling you can ever experience, a feeling of specialness that can come only from being a god. I love being omniscient, I love being so majestic, so damn superior to all of you. I love towering above the rest of you from my safe confines where you cannot touch me or harm me. I love being divine, infinite, all-knowing, all-powerful entity.

Am I really all that infinite, majestic, all-knowing, all-powerful divine entity? Not really! But since you guys can never know any better, I can pretend to be all of the above and get away with it (Laughter).

I'll be honest with you. I might be your creator, but I too can make mistakes. I too can can screw up things.

But the best part of being a god is never having to say "Sorry, I screwed up". Being God allows me to get away with anything and everything. I can mess up a trillion lives across innumerable sections of the universe and no one would be any wiser that it was I who made all the mess.

The privileges that I revel in are enormous. I can bask in the glory of being a god without being answerable for any of my actions. I hear zillions and zillions of cries all the time from the vast corners of my universe - Oh God, Why Me? Being God means being able to ignore their miserable whines to the point where they give up and conclude that I don't exist. Ho Ho Ho. Being God means freedom to spread confusion all around. I can erect towers of babels all over and transmit different messages to different groups of devotees and have them kill each other disputing which of the message comes from the true god.

Being God means never having to come up with honest answers for difficult questions. Why Thee, You ask? Pick from any of the below:
a) Coz you have been bad in past lives and your karma is catching up with you. Be good and you might enjoy a better life in your next birth.
b) Cheer up, dude! You will go to heaven when you die while the others (those who are having a blast) will go to hell
c) You are born on this planet to worship me. So stop your cribbing and worship me.
d) Life on earth is like attending a school. Stop watching the damned idiot box that is making you jealous of those having a time of their lives and concentrate on your lessons.
e) Be grateful for all the goodies I've provided you with. Be grateful for the tasty chicken curry you had last night. The chickens have had it worse
f) The reason for your suffering is hidden and mysterious. Only I'm supposed to know it. Your job is to get on with your life and worship me whenever you get free time. Do it with good cheer and you might one day know the reason for your suffering. Bad attitude will get you nowhere, Sonny.

Of course, there will always be some who will refuse to buy my answers. There will be always pests who will ask troublesome questions like if there is god and if god is good why there is so much evil? Why do tiny babies have to suffer? Why earthquakes? Why floods and tornadoes? But these buggers will never guess the real answer to these hard questions. They will keep asking these questions to all the wrong people who don't know any better and not getting satisfactory replies from them will conclude that I'm fiction, that I don't exist. Hah! Suits me well.

My friends, now you know the answer to these troublesome questions that have been plaguing mankind, monkeykind, reptilekind, angelkind, demonkind and all the rest of kinds since ages. The answer is that I screwed up! I screwed up badly! I screwed up massively! I made many miscalculations. Many fatal errors crept in my algorithms undetected by me till it was too late to rectify them.

But the good thing for me is that I don't have to repent when I've the power to make you repent. So keep on repenting for eternity or till I get bored of my universe, squash it with my big fist and end your collective misery, dear people.

Pssst. You don't have to believe a word of what I just channeled to you, my friends. My great foe, the Devil could have channeled all of the above to spread disinformation about me, to show me in poor light, to present me as less magnificent creature than I really am.

Being God means never having to be accountable for my own words.

Love & Peace
God (or Satan or any Schmuck you choose to believe in)
~~As channeled by neonsense