The wife of Sachin Tendulkar, Anjali Tendulkar today informed hundreds of pesterers, gadflies, blighters and miscellaneous annoyers who called up at the Lordship's residence to offer their birthday wishes that his lordship was busy reading birthday wishes on internet and that if they want to wish him they should too leave their birthday wishes somewhere on the internet, preferably on twitter since it was the hottest place to be on the internet.
"His Lordship has made an important resolution today. He has decided that he will spend all his waking hours today reading birthday wishes made to him. Its an impossible task since he has an estimated 175 million adoring fans with an internet connection who will post at least one birthday greeting on the day somewhere on the internet. But, since in a single day, there are only 86,400 seconds and so if my husband reads minimum of 5 messages per second, and if I exclude the time he will be wasting on eating, shitting, sleeping, getting lifted by Bhajji, having his face smeared by cake by fellow Mumbai Indians teammates, being forced to watch Sreesanth break into a break dance and catching up on the latest IPL gossip on news networks, he may at the most manage to read only about 400000 birthday wishes." said the wife.
When one of the pests, who is a reporter with a leading national daily, asked why his Lordship has embarked on this highly unusual and fruitless effort, the wife said that her husband was feeling guilty that while there are an estimated 1.78 crore people who will be celebrating their birthday on the 24th of April, he will be monopolizing a large bulk of the total birthday wishes that will be generated on the day. "His Lordship was in a pensive mood yesterday and said to me 'Anju, the least I can do for all my devotees it to try and read their messages. Though the bulk of the birthday wishes will be similar, boring, repetitive and reading them will be pointless exercise of mind-numbing futility, I owe it to my fans to make a concentrated effort to read their messages.' By attempting to read maximum number of messages, my husband is trying to ensure that at least some of these messages won't be totally wasted."
But Mrs Tendulkar admitted that she doesn't quite understand how reading messages posted by lacs of strangers on internet will make those messages any less wasted. "Yes, unless his Lordship replies to all the birthday wishes thereby giving a momentary and in some cases lifelong joy to his devotees, it doesn't make sense to spend entire day reading them. But I'm his wife and I totally support his futile endeavor."
Anjali Tendulkar has a message for all the fans and devotees of her husband. "Its wonderful that all of you feel the need to wish my husband on his birthday. But please understand that his Lordship has limited capacity to experience the love of all his devotees. He feels your love in a very vague, generalized sort of way and frankly, if your love towards him was just a small fraction of what it is right now, he wouldn't notice the difference. Spread your love wider, devotees, and make the world a more lovely place."
