Internet Chatters Never Roll On The Floor Laughing, Study Finds

People who use acronyms like LMAO or ROTFL on the Internet in order to show their appreciation of a joke or a funny anecdote are likely to be a lying when they claim that they are rolling on the floor laughing or laughing their assess off. A new study carried out by the university of Oklahoma has discovered that lying is rampant on the Internet.

The researchers spying several thousand Internet users at cybercafes found out that over 99 percent of users who made fanciful claims of rolling on the floor laughing were just sitting quietly on their chairs. "Not one of the Internet users we surveyed fell from his chair. Very few of them even laughed while typing ROFTL or LMAO though some did manage to smile for a fraction of a second before clamming up." said Duffery Hill, one of the researchers.

"We didn't see any asses detaching from the upper torsos of the Internet users claiming that they were laughing their asses off." said Dick Ashcroft, professor of sociology at the university.

"In most instances, we observed that when chatters were absolutely nonreactive, they would claim they were smiling by posting a smiling smiley, when they were merely smiling they would claim they were laughing out loudly (LOL), when they were grinning they would claim they were laughing their asses off (LMAO), and when they were chuckling a bit they would say that they are rolling on the floor laughing (ROTFL)" added Prof.Ashcroft.

"Similar behavior was witnesses when users used other acronyms like BRB. Majority of them stayed put on their computers for a very long time shifting their attention to some other activity on their computers before coming back. Even use of emoticons like 'tongue out' was never followed up by actual ejection of tongue from the mouths of the users."

The study recommended that children should be taught in schools to avoid lying on Internet. "If this sort of behavior is allowed to continue without censure, it would result in lying becoming socially-acceptable. In the long run, this would result in breakdown of social order and mass reduction in levels of IQ. Lying on the Internet must stop." warned the worried professor.

The author of this badly-written spoof never smiled even for a moment while writing this pathetic, crappy story and doesn't expect readers to react in any other way except a quick, bored dismissal. Display of any other emotion in the comment section, though highly unlikely, will be considered as abuse of truth.