Contributed by Cubicile_blues
Self-styled godman Nityananda Swami has wrote the following open letter in response to the Blogadda.com’s #pertytweets on #Nityananda.
Dear Bhaktjano,
I thank you for supporting me during the darkest hour of my life. The media has launched a vitriolic campaign to destroy my creditability. They have been trying to paint me as some wayward Osho when I am just an another godman.
The media is run by guys having normal sex life or wishing to have one. Watch news channels for an hour and you will find that news channels care more for money than their journalistic duties. These are the guys who care for presentation instead of content because they believe you just can’t make up the news.
You have been misguided by the TRP crazy news channels. I know you are feeling ashamed because your favorite Baba has been caught doing things that used for making blockbuster MMS. The truth is that all I have on mind is your happiness. I am not going say that tapes have been doctored because that would be a lie. The truth is my actions have been misinterpreted just like Shashi Tharoor’s tweets.
The truth my dear Bhaktjano is this. We all know Indians are passionate about two things. They are sex and yoga. Ask any blonde woman and she would say Indian men are on a whole are perverts. Ask any married Indian man and he would say his wife is crazy enough to wake up at six in the morning for doing yoga.
Indian men being sex maniacs wish to use the privacy of night and prefer to sleep late. Indian women being yoga maniacs prefer to sleep early. This has led to Indian men getting angry and suspicions whenever their wife at night says that she is having a headache.
Marriage is an important pillar of society and any discontentment among husband and wife might ruin the fabric of our society. I have tried to find a solution to this problem by reading an ancient text known as Kamasutra. The Kamasutra clearly shows how people can have sex and exercise at the same time.
A theory that has not been applied is as good as a discourse on Bhagwat Gita. Everyone listens to it, nods his/her head and does what he/she wants to do. What I was doing that night was putting my theory into practice. The media aired my experiments without asking a single question to me. I would have explained them the whole theory and given them loads of money to keep their mouth shut.
With media using the footage of my experiments for loathing me, the Indian blogosphere erupted with Nityananda jokes. Unlike America, where only professional comedians were allowed to crack jokes on Tiger Woods, I was subject to humiliation and ridicule by every Indian who had access to internet. I am really hurt by the behavior of Indians on Twitter.
It is said that every cloud has a silver lining and I have found two silver linings among the #Nityananda jokes on Twitter. I have discovered the followings:
1. The Indian topic that trended on Twitter after Sachin Tendulkar was me. This means I am next to Tendulkar.
2. I proved the power of India in the cyber world. The duration I trended Justin Bieber was not a part of trending topics.As a trending topic on Twitter I have become world famous. I can use their new found popularity for personal gains but I will not do so. I am a Baba devoid of personal pleasures and as I stated earlier all I have on my mind is your happiness. Hence, I have decided to offer my services without any charge for the Incredible India campaign.
Yours truly (with only spiritual love)
Nityananda Swami
