by Maverick58
With the burgeoning explosion of sex education classes conducted over the Internet, Swiss boys in the age of 12-14 years have been found to be more active than rabbits when it came to performing the procreative act. The research conducted by the Swiss Government on behalf of the Federal Commission for Children and Youth interviewed 1480 boys aged 10-20. It showed that more 12-14 year olds having sex than their counterparts from the 1990s. The study did not disclose if they had same-sex sex or sex with bipeds with clefts. Deeming the that particular bit of information as falling under the National Security Sex Act, the government spokesperson, a transgender, clarified that the production of HotShot condoms have begun.
Meanwhile, the Government of Switzerland is considering to table a proposal at the UN General Assembly that Hotshots be supplied free of cost to the representatives of various countries since the UN representatives lack muscle in their nether areas and hence are ineffective in enforcing UN resolutions world-wide. Our Special Correspondent on Weenie Affairs reports that Japan’s representative is conducting back-channel negotiations for a contract of First Supply to Asian Countries. The Chinese and the Taiwanese who had bugged the Japanese envoy are scrambling to draw up elaborate fool-proof plans to hijack all shipments of Hotshots to Japan. Understandably, the African countries do not qualify and neither do certain countries of the North and South American continent.
The Israelis have termed the production and distribution of HotShots as anti-zionist since anything proposed by any European Government has historically been against Zionism. Their spokesperson, a Mr. Kwacknowski, termed the production as a conspiracy against Israeli boys because it would subvert them and turns them into warriors in the bed. Mossad agents are furiously field-testing the product amongst Palestinian babies because the product-fit is incompatible with the target segment of 12-14 year old Palestinians.
Back at home; the Union Minister of Health was quoted as saying that the conspiracy behind Shashi Tharoor losing the UN Secretary-General Chair was quite evident because of his natural big-endowment and proclivity to flaunt his knowledge about everything in all languages at the prompt of a TV flash bulb. When quizzed further if Hindustan Latex Limited would launch a desi-version of HotShot named GaramTapak that would revive the bottom line of HTL, the Minister deflected the question back to the reporter asking her if she would purchase it for her son. He mentioned that they have placed a request to the Swiss manufacturer to outsource the manufacturing of HotShot since India was strategically placed on various trade routes. The Container Manufacturer Association of India has asked its R&D department to consider the possibility of manufacturing smaller containers that could be used exclusively for the exports of ribbed GaramTapak.
All State Health Ministers have been issued an advisory to examine the feasibility of issuing GaramTapak along with free textbooks in schools.
The issue is fast becoming a discussion point amongst the parties in the Opposition too, since all men’s weenie secrets would be out for condom dispensers to see. They are suggesting that with each dispense, the camera of the dispenser, should click the picture of every person buying a Garamtapak.
At the time of clicking the enter key of this desktop, we have reliably learnt that ACLU (All Colleges Ladies Union) has termed the introduction of HotShots/GaramTapaks as expanding their fields of partners and that when it comes to sex, there is no age-size bar and their ‘wides’ would be gleefully accepted while matrimonial advertisements would no longer carry the word innocent-virgin.
