Mar 7, 2010

Nithya-ananda: Forever Blissed

by Maverick58

In Sanskrit Nithya means forever and Anandha, what else, happiness. So someone who has been named Nithyanandham should if one goes by the name be forever happy in this mortal world that is filled with all kinds of sins that sprang forth ever since Eve convinced Adam to partake of the Forbidden fruit and much later following her footsteps, Pandora opened her box. It is a matter of conjecture, though, which box she opened but suffice to say both the women brought forth into this world of mortal humans and other assorted creatures, a whole new bag of misery that is still unraveling and the world is reeling from the combined effects of their discretionary acts. Women do not commit indiscretions, says the parrot on my shoulder. Such things are left to the non-clefted species.

nithyaanandaBut we are getting ahead. Take for instance poor Swami Nithyanandham who flitted between his various ashrams in Tamilnadu and Karnataka, obligingly mouthing inane words that his besotted devotees lapped up as God’s word after Moses et al. It is another thing that the said swami was anointed as one at the age of twelve when other boys of his age were on the threshold of mysterious things happening to their nether body and voice boxes. For one who was brought up on a strict diet of Shlokas, Scriptures, the exposure to the unabashed adulatory attention was perhaps too hot to handle.

Pursuant to a TV Channel broadcasting clips of his alleged procreator act, albeit fully clothed, with a nubile out of work, alleged actress, the ‘poor’ swami went into hiding. It took Mohini Kunwari’s considerable detective prowess to track the Swami down somewhere at the borders of the two states where he was busy setting up yet another ashram with considerable help from his female devotees. Our reporter was intrigued that despite the swami making headlines arising out of an alleged sex scandal involving not young strapping lads but young girls, women could still be his devotees.

When she pointed this out to the Swami, he laughed and replied, “ Women, right from the days of Eve have the genetic streak of being curious. Think about it. Even the venerable Sita did cross the Lakshman-rekha, and never mind the consequences. So it is but natural that rich, bored women have enough of curiosity to first become my devotees and then I wait like the spider in its parlor for them to make the first move. They are curious about my widely proclaimed vows of abstinence from desires of all kinds.”

Mohini Kunwari ploughed on steadfastly wanting to get to the root of his fatalistic charming spells that he appeared to cast on women. Quizzed if he practiced abstinence from all forms of desire, the Swami, while strategically placing a mirror in his sprawling room where he often went to take some much needed rest from the rigors of darshan to fawning female devotees, he looked around, gave a satisfied smile and replied that, “ What is desire but the need to covet or own or possess. I do not covet or own anything or anybody. Arrey, Mohini what can I do if people give away their life’s savings, or buy me a Rolls or do some calisthenics involving the positions of the Kamasutra with someone or when someone is not available, with me. Am I supposed to deny my devotees their only shot at material for their party gossip? I simply cannot take without giving. And you must admit that a few pearly drops are measly compensation for what I get. Now, look at you. You are young, attractive and have many admirers amongst your friends who are men. If you were to have sex with every man whom you reciprocally admire, you would be termed as a prostitute. Isnt it? And what is prostitution but a business where the less experienced you are, the more money you make. Rather you would like to have a discreet relationship with someone who will not brag about his conquest. That is why women feel safe with me when I teach them the various asanas of the Kamasutra which is a form of yoga.”

Mohini took a deep, quavering breath and asked if the images on the video were of him and some actress from Kollywood. The Swami laughed and said it was that “infernal Baba Karma Yogi” whose devotees with Dreamworks Inc and Pixar, employed all fake and highly specialized techniques in CGI and they released the clips.

“You see, the angle was all wrong. It is obvious that they had created on the computer what they could not create in real life. I have never met the woman in the video-clips. It was her sister who visited me and like always I took her to the rest-room, sat on the porcelain throne, inlaid with images of the 64-positions, and she proceeded to do her training at the end of which I gave her a few precious pearly drops of Anandha”