Patriotic guy stands up for the national anthem even when it plays in his mind

Mumbai resident Sriram Savarkar, 39 years of age, residing in a Dadar colony apartment with his wife and two kids, is not your ordinary patriot who buys paper flags on the fifteenth of August every year for his kids or stands up when the national anthem plays at cinema theatres to show his patriotic fervour. Sriram Savarkar believes in being patriotic every waking moment of his life. Unlike your average nationalist, Sriram keeps a paper flag pinned to the shirt he wears every day of the year and stands up to show his respect for the national flag even when India's national anthem plays only in his mind.

"It's extremely hypocritical to stand up when the national anthem is being played only when you are inside a cinema hall. A true patriot should show his respect for the country, for the tricolor and for the national anthem, whenever and wherever the anthem is played." Savarkar told his fellow passengers commuting with him in 8:25 AM Churchgate local after they failed to stand up when his mobile phone rang blaring the ring-tone "Jana Gana Mana".

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Senior media professionals to launch new channel, JTV: Justice For Your Dead Relative

Senior journalists from electronic news media have come together to launch a new 24/7 television channel which will be called as 'Justice for your dead relative'. The Justice channel or JTV , as its name suggests will help provide justice to the relatives of victims of murder, rape or car accidents, when all normal channels of justice fail to provide justice to them.

"India desperately needs a new judiciary, as our current judicial system is slow, inefficient, corrupt and rotten to its core. Our law-enforcementmachinery is equally ineffective and corrupt, biased on the side of the rich and the influential . With the launch of this new channel we will provide to the people of India the highest form of judiciary - the people's court." saidVarsha Dutt, managing editor of the new channel.

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Millions of hungry Indians to go on hunger strike demanding food

Over a million hungry people from all over India will go on a hunger strike of indefinite length demanding regular food to eat. The mass hunger strike has been organized by newly-formed group "We Want Food" (WWF) and will be held at various grounds in several metropolitan cities and state capitals all over the country. In New Delhi, over 2 lac hungry men, women and children will converge at August Kranti Maidan while in Mumbai another 2 lacs are expected to reach at Azad Maidan to participate in the hunger strike. Many more lacs will participate in the hunger strike at Chennai, Kolkotta, Bangalore, Hyderabad, Patna, Kanpur, Lukhnow, Jaipur and Bhopal.

Chairman of WWF, the newly formed front formed to fight hunger, Mr. Bhookhnath Khare, speaking to reporters at August Kranti Maidan said that it was ironic that while India tops world hunger chartand also tops charts for highest number of hunger strikes every year, the hungry have never participated in hunger strikes. "We have been going hungry for free for several decades never demanding anything in return from the government. It is time we make good use of our hunger and like the regular hunger-strikers, we too make demands from the government."

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Worried at diminishing media coverage, Saifeena plan to get married

Celebrity power couple Saif Ali Khan and Kareena Kapoor have mysteriously disappeared from color supplements of newspapers and television news channels after the failure of 'Kurbaan' at box-office. English news channels like IBN-Live and NDTV are no longer interested in knowing the views of the couple on matters like live-in relationships and have stopped inviting them to their television studios for offering sound-bytes on variety of topics of national and international importance.

Worried at the diminishing coverage received by the couple in the print and electronic media, Saif's mother, Sharmila Tagore, who is also the chairwoman of Censor Board, announced that the couple may marry soon.

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Usain Bolt resigns from post of role model

Usain Bolt, the Jamaican sprinter who has captured the imagination of not only Jamaicans, but sport-lovers all over the world, today resigned from the position of role model citing unwillingness to accept the burden of rolemodelship.

At a press conference held in Kingston, Jamaica, Bolt asked his fans to relieve him from the post of their role model. "I'm Usain Bolt. I run fast and I break world records. And I'm happy with that. Though I'm flattered and honored by the additional status of rolemodelship conferred on me by media and by my millions of fans all over the world, I respectfully decline it. I request all my fans, admirers and well-wishers to immediately withdraw the title of role model granted to me."

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India Inc Announces Launch of Six New States

India Incorporated, world's leading producer of cattle and second largest producer of humans, today announced the launch of six new states to augment its line of states and union territories. At a glittering function held at its headquarters in New Delhi, CEO of India Inc, Dr. Manmohan Singh launched the states of Telangana, Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Harit Pradesh, Vidharba and Maru Pradesh. With the addition of the six new states, India Inc now boasts of 34 States and 7 Union Territories.

With demand for states increasing all over the country, India Inc is seeking to ride the growth in demand with this new range of states. "We have geared up for enhancing our state range. We are launching new states," Dr. Manmohan Singh said. This state lineup boasts of large assortment of sub-lingual groups of people, all available in variety of customs, traditions, superstitions and cultural trademarks.

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Gods of Doom Decide to End Life on Earth After Watching 2012

After watching a special screening of the Hollywood blockbuster of the season, Roland Emmerich's doomsday movie 2012, the gods of heavenly realms unanimously voted to unleash doom on planet earth and extinguish all life on it. The special screening of the 158 minute long doom-fest which was attended by top Greek, Indian, Mayan and Egyptian gods including the god of doom, Shiva, left the gathering of divinities feeling so outraged that they decided that it was time civilization on earth should be immediately terminated.

"Please press your pineal button and open your third eye, Shiva" said an outraged Ra, the Egyptian Sun God to Shiva, who nodded in agreement.

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