RNRL hired a team of fatass lawyers that came up with some complicated legal way to stop that shit. Junior Ambani claimed that he was entitled to his share of the gas, or that he wanted RNRL to be supplied first or something, or maybe it was something to do with how RIL would price the natural gas. The courts heard his labyrinthical legal arguments and decided to grant a stay, or maybe refer it to some Empowered Group of Ministers (EGoM). RIL went crying to the courts too saying that they spent a fuckload of money on the whole thing.Suddenly, from nowhere, the Petroleum Ministry got into the act saying that the price of $ 4.33/mmBtu was too low, or too high, no one is really sure. No one even knew what an mmBtu was, but that did not stop a national debate on this issue. Everyone from brokers to investors to the average news watching fool were inundated with news, views and opinions and a whole bunch of other shit that they did not understand.
Every new day would bring a fresh barrage of reports over some High Court ruling or adjournment or some comment by some Minister guy. There were days when both brothers would talk shit about each other in full public view. Just as people got used to that, NTPC comes out with a statement saying that it too wanted something out of this. That made the shit even more messed up. NTPC of all companies decides to throw its hat into the ring. No one really knows what the shit they wanted, but it seemed to piss both the brothers off. Or maybe it was just Mukesh.Soon, NTPC and Anil Ambani went to Kokilaben to sort out the issue. Or maybe Anil Ambani went with his
brother. The nation thought that she would take the shit by the throat and abritrate the shit out of the issue, but she failed to do shit. Then the EGoM comes out with a statement that price discovery should be made at an arms length, or maybe they wanted to control the price. Shit has been flying around ever since. So as of now, no one really knows shit.We managed to talk to some of the parties involved in this shit. "God knows what the whole thing is about. There was some big ass formula to calculate stuff. Thank God they keep coming to me with adjournments. It's the easiest thing to do." said a High Court judge on the obvious, shitty condition of anonymity.
"Man, I wait with bated breath everytime some shit is about to happen. The other day, I made a shitload of money when the High Court supported Anil. Or Mukesh, I can't really remember shit." said a trader, who also said that his mantra was to follow the news and immediately place orders based on whether the shit was good or bad."I hope this shit goes on and on till next elections. I don't want to have to make a decision on this shit" confessed a member of the EGoM.
As we hope for shit to settle, we can only hope that the Ambani brothers amicably settle their dispute over national property.
(Contributed by SD)
