Harbhajan Singh has been finally vindicated - that is of course, if he had indeed called Andrew Symonds a 'Monkey' and not 'Maa Ki' as he claimed later during 'Monkeygate' investigations. With the latest controversy he finds himself embroiled in - another shining example of his undisciplined wayward ways, it can be said that Andrew Symonds is an undiluted monkey monovular, belonging to the anthropoid class, alleged common ancestor race of all of mankind. Those who think that a close resemblance to anthropoids is a matter of shame should dispassionately examine their own intimacy to the primates of ape family.
What he needs now is a rehabilitation process where he can learn to come to terms with his monkey-ness and accept it gracefully like humans, which is a catch-22 situation since he is not hundred percent human and cannot be expected to act like a full-blown human. If he learns to act like humans, he will no longer remain a pure monkey specimen which might lead to accusations of racism and unlawful racial conversion by monkeys against human race in general and the rehabilitation center in particular.
The Human Brain
Human race, as it functions, is a result of the human brain which is just a mixture of mammalian (monkey) and reptile (R-Complex) brain. There is also a third brain, the recently-evolved part called neocortex which is responsible for making peace between the monkey brain and the reptile brain. Neocortex is the home of the intellect giving humans memory, reason and logic, but since this brain was the last to evolve, it is deficient in majority of humanity.
Symonds's problem is not that his neocortex brain is underdeveloped. Poorly evolved neocortex in human race is generally responsible for most of the problems of world which mostly arise due to lack of proper reasoning and logic. So under-evolution of the third brain is not just his problem, but entire humanity's problem. Andrew's problem is that he is monkey-brain dominant. As a result his mammalian brain is not well-equilibrated or balanced with his reptile brain.
The reptile brain in humans is obsessed with rules, rituals and ceremonies. It makes humans conformists to cultural, social, religious or legal customs. On the other hand, the monkey brain in humans is unruly, free-spirited, disobedient and resistant to any kind of subjugation. With his monkey-brain dominating his reptile brain, Andrew Symonds feels like a fish out of water in a discipline and rules-obsessed environment of Australian and international cricket.
(He will be heartened to know that the reptilian part of our brain, being the oldest and most primitive is also the least evolved of all the three parts and responsible for wars, power-obsession, greed and a host of other negatives which has kept mankind in a fear-based survival mode)
The way out for Symonds
He should consider aligning himself with all other monkey-brained dominated cricketers like Shoaib Akhthar, the player formerly known as Sreesanth and possibly even with his arch rival Harbhajan Singh and form a MPL (Monkey Premier League). This league can have all players who have fallen foul with their cricket boards due to their undisciplinary monkeying ways.
At some point of time, the rest of international cricketers will exhaust themselves with their punishing schedules playing several forms of cricket, jet-hopping from one continent to another without a break and not too far in the future, the cricket-loving Indian janta will also be exhausted watching overdose of IPLs, ICLs, T20 World Cups, one-dayers and test matches.
In such a scenario, the players of the monkey league with their alcohol problems, indiscipline, bad attitude, lack of team-spirit, slapgates and name-calling will represent the next level of cricket-based entertainment providing weary cricket lovers, bored with obsessive moneymaking of cricket boards/players, with natural and unadulterated amusement, a welcome break from the increasing irritations of excessively hyped, over-commercialized forms of cricketaintment complete with plastic cheerleaders, hard-selling television commentators and fake controversy-generating players.
