May 28, 2009

Children of a Lesser Slumlord

Millions of slum kids of Mumbai and all other cities of India, who were not fortunate enough to act in the movie 'Slumdog Millionaire' will continue to live in the same shit-holes as before. Danny Boyle's trust will not buy homes for them. Mumbai Regional Congress Committee will not allot MHADA flats for them. Chief of MHADA's Mumbai Board will not grant them homes under the EWS (economically weaker section) category since these anonymous children of economically weaker sections are too anonymous to deserve a home that is not located in a slum. Indian and international media will ignore their condition for the same reason.

skAnonymous kids growing up in slums being children of a lesser slumlord won't get endorsement deals or walk on fashion ramps. Politicians will ignore them even during election times as they are too young to vote. Bulldozers of BMC will raze down their 'illegal' shanties too, but Milind Deora or Priya Dutt will not make enquiries about their families or express any concern for their fate. When bulldozers will render these kids homeless, media will either not report the demolition of their homes or report it as just another much-needed encroachment removal drive to clean up the city and free its encroached spaces. Resul Pookooty wouldn't consider their homelessness as a matter of 'national shame'

Those whose job is to solve the problems of these anonymous slum children have found a solution that will eradicate all of their problems. Their solution is - become famous like the celebrity slum kids of Slumdog Millionaire. From now onwards, any kid from slums who will be chosen as an actor in any Hollywood movie to depict realities of his or her existance will become eligible for receiving free housing, education and all other benefits by virtue of becoming a celebrity slum kid. All his needs will be taken care by government or private trusts.

In order to help slum children in achieving their dreams of instant fame and fortune, Information & Broadcasting ministry is planning to start a training academy where slum children can learn to act, sing and dance. Hollywood directors will be pressurized to select child-stars for slum-based movies only from this academy. As already reported before, Indian government is planning to protect and preserve Indian slums by declaring them as national heritage. Preservation of slums is likely to inspire more western filmmakers into making slum-based movies.

"We are in the process of launching several schemes that will help slum kids in getting employment as child actors in movies. By year 2020, we expect that the number of slum kids who will get chance to act in international movies will rise from present two to over twenty." said minister for Information and Broadcasting. The minister promised that in case the producers of these movies did not compensate these kids fairly, the ministry will step in and in coordination with local governments help them in providing them with free housing and other necessary benefits.

Minister for Labour and Employment said that his ministry is planning to modify the Minimum Wages Act to ensure that children of slums acting in western movies are not exploited. "We are planning to amend the Minimum Wages Act. Under the proposed amendment, filmmakers using slum kids will have to provide free housing to the kids as part of the acting contract. They will also be required to pay the kids remuneration on par with the remuneration paid to child actors from western countries"

There are also rumors that the Human Resources and Development ministry will be proposing a 33 percent quota for slum kids for television quiz shows like 'Kaun Banege Crorepati'. There is also a possibility that the ministry might insist that at least 50 per cent of the questions asked in the show must be related to events in their life to give slum children a fair chance to compete with the rest of the contestants.

Kids living in slums but not lucky enough to get a chance of acting in international blockbuster movies or get selected for quiz shows, will continue to live the rest of their  lives in their dirty hovels. Even though each one of them has a story to tell, their stories will never be told.