In an exciting new development, Bal Thackeray, the former Shiv Sena legislator has decided to take complete charge of the MMC portfolio which has been lying vacant for the past 60 years or so. We are reproducing the editorial that he wrote yesterday for his propaganda paper, Saamna.
“Our poor Muslim brothers and sisters need guidance in this dark hour of their shame which they themselves brought upon themselves by trying to forge links with Pakistani ISI agents in disguise. In a stunning reversal of the honey trap, Pakistani cricketers are out to get gullible Muslim girls with high and visible profiles so that the subsequent quantum of shame is that much more.
I will come out with details of the Special Packages that we are making available to young Muslim Girls that will make Indian boys more attractive and a prized possession to flaunt. You see in today’s fast paced world there are enough charlatans out to heap dishonour on unsuspecting girls and more so the Muslim Girls who are shut inside the veil the minute they attain puberty. This practice must stop immediately for their own good. I demand that the Constitution be amended suitably. I also demand that Muslim Boys give up the unkempt look of sporting a scraggly beard and sporting skull caps. They should shave regularly and wear denims that sweep the floor behind them as they go about their daily business of plotting which city to bomb or which bus or train to blow up. They should also tattoo their UID numbers on their fore arms so that they are easily identifiable.
I also demand that a permanent ban on Pakistani Sports persons’ travel into India. They come on the pretext of playing sports and then walk away with innocent girls hanging on their arms and willing to give up all their future prize money to these buck-toothed agents of the ISI. I am issuing a clear warning to the ISI that their nefarious and various schemes of infiltrating the country with such pliant sports persons has woken us up to the potential involved in this method. I am asking RAW to do the needful on a reciprocal basis. And I am also warning the parents of these innocent girls that they must not entertain thoughts of independent groom-hunting. They must come to me or my Special Agent for Minority Welfare, Raj Thackeray and we shall examine their request in great detail and after the necessary fees are paid in cash or kind we shall accept or reject their proposal depending upon various factors like threat representative level of the prospective groom, the long term opportunity like making a bakra of the groom in the future.”
