Idea Cellular Dumps Abhishek Bachchan in “Masterstroke”

Contributed by SD

Idea Cellular today pulled off what is being described by marketing gurus as a “major coup” and a “masterstroke” when they announced the revival of their “Walk and talk” campaign. This campaign was recently replaced by the “Save Paper, Use Cellphones” strategy which didn’t really pay off after global warming was proved to be a massive hoax perpetrated by erotic fiction writers.

Abhishek Tree Bachchan, who was Idea’s brand ambassador for almost 3 years was dumped in favour of 43 Members of Orgy House (commonly referred to as an MP). MPs from across party lines signed up to be brand ambassadors, most notably Mulayam Singh Yadav of the Samajwadi Party. Surprisingly, Idea was able to sign MPs of the CPI and its many variants. Readers will note that the Left is against anything that makes sense in the modern age, so signing up to represent the “evil private sector” was totally unexpected.

“This was just an extension of plain, commonsense marketing thought. The MPs are experts in the field of ‘walking out’, something that they do day-in and day-out, 24X7. They first walked out over inflation being too high, and then they walked out over inflation being too low, and everything in between.

Recently, they walked out 16 times in a single day over the Women’s Bill. We swooped in today after they walked out over…….food prices or petrol prices or something like that.” said an Idea representative.

“At first, we were able to entice politicians only from opposition parties. Their scamming potential is currently quite low considering they aren’t in power so I guess that made them pretty desperate. Laloo Prasad Yadav was one of our first signings. He jumped at our offer since he did not have any Government Programme to swindle, what with him being out of power on both central and state levels. We pulled off a major bargain with the left parties when we signed them onto super-long-term contracts, knowing fully well that they will keep walking out as the opposition for at least the next 45 years” continued the beaming executive.

“This is a highly sustainable campaign. We get live feeds from the DD Lok Sabha channel so it wouldn’t cost us much to make ads. As longas there is a democracy as messed up as India’s, we will have walk outs on every single day that the Orgy house is in session. Besides, we got them, I mean all 43 MPs, at a fraction of what Abhishek cost us. They were really desperate” he concluded as he took off to Cannes to collect awards.

Abhishek Bachchan is now unemployed in real life, which is quite amusing considering the doctor that he played in the “Walk and Talk” commercial also found himself unemployed when citizens became healthy after walking while talking.

In other developments, it is rumoured that the Government plans to rent out the Lok Sabha room since “nothing much goes on inside there anyway”.