Leading Psychiatry Journal: We Are All Mentally Ill

The headline of this article might seem like like an April fool joke. But its not. Its official. We are all suffering from mental illness. The American Journal of Shrinkiatry has recently added another deviant behavior as a sign of mental illness to its long list of deviant behaviors that should be considered as signs of mental disorders.

The latest deviant behavior that can get you certified as suffering from mental disorder is sending excessive emails and text messages. According to an article published in the journal by a shrink in need of more customers, Dr Jerald Block, there are four symptoms of this latest mental disorder: suffering from feelings of withdrawal when a computer cannot be accessed; an increased need for better equipment; need for more time to use it; and experiencing the negative repercussions of their addiction. Dr Block said that although text messaging was not directly linked to the Internet, it was a form of instant messaging and needed to be included among the criteria.

According to another shrink, searching for new devious ways to expand his shrinking business, Dr. Robert Kaplan, all the four symptoms closely resemble symptoms that majority of people suffer from when forced into temporary isolation: suffering from loneliness when another human cannot be accessed; an increased need for being well-dressed and fashionable when meeting other people; need for more time to waste in useless chatter and pointless partying and experiencing the negative repercussions of their addiction to fellow humans.

"The chief reasons I see to consider experiencing loneliness as a form of mental illness are suicidal thoughts that arise when people feel isolated or alienated from other people, stalking and harassment through verbal abuse or through boring other people to death by incessant talking and unceasing chattering at social, educational, (and) work functions where it creates problems," said Dr. Kaplan.

"Earlier this sort of addiction to society was explained away through use of cliches such as Man is a social animal. But these banal cliches are just half-baked explanations for a deeper malaise that human beings have been suffering from since eons."

"We are not social animals. We are mental animals." he said.

Leanne Battaglia, 21, said she would not classify herself as being clinically addicted to communicating with other people, but could see how quickly the problem could develop. "Talking to other people has always been my way of life, but I don't think I've reached at the stage where I would classify it as an addiction," Ms Battaglia said.

Despite talking with clients all day, the sales consultant admits she often calls up her friends and family when she gets home.

"I use my mouth for verbal communication almost every night and during the day. I'm pretty much available on phone all the time and always ready to meet my friends or family and chat with them."

"I swear by my mouth-tongue combo, it's like a security blanket. I would feel really bare if my speech function was damaged" she said.

According to a report titled Media And Communications, the average child spends about five hours and 17 minutes talking each day, with teenagers aged 15 to 17 spending an average of 7 hours chatting with friends.

"I think in general with newer technologies like mobile phones and internet that make communication easier, addiction to talking is escalating," Dr Kaplan said. "We all have a big mouth and and it brings with it a range of problems."