India Inc Announces Launch of Six New States

India Incorporated, world's leading producer of cattle and second largest producer of humans, today announced the launch of six new states to augment its line of states and union territories. At a glittering function held at its headquarters in New Delhi, CEO of India Inc, Dr. Manmohan Singh launched the states of Telangana, Gorkhaland, Bundelkhand, Harit Pradesh, Vidharba and Maru Pradesh. With the addition of the six new states, India Inc now boasts of 34 States and 7 Union Territories.

With demand for states increasing all over the country, India Inc is seeking to ride the growth in demand with this new range of states. "We have geared up for enhancing our state range. We are launching new states," Dr. Manmohan Singh said. This state lineup boasts of large assortment of sub-lingual groups of people, all available in variety of customs, traditions, superstitions and cultural trademarks.

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Gods of Doom Decide to End Life on Earth After Watching 2012

After watching a special screening of the Hollywood blockbuster of the season, Roland Emmerich's doomsday movie 2012, the gods of heavenly realms unanimously voted to unleash doom on planet earth and extinguish all life on it. The special screening of the 158 minute long doom-fest which was attended by top Greek, Indian, Mayan and Egyptian gods including the god of doom, Shiva, left the gathering of divinities feeling so outraged that they decided that it was time civilization on earth should be immediately terminated.

"Please press your pineal button and open your third eye, Shiva" said an outraged Ra, the Egyptian Sun God to Shiva, who nodded in agreement.

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Zynga Launches Indian Version of Farmville

In response to protests by Bharat Kisan Manch that Farmville, the real-time simulation game available as an application on Facebook, is romanticising agriculture giving Indian urban youth a distorted view of farming where peasants pleasantly graduate from small farmers to great farmers planting, growing and harvesting virtual crops, trees and livestock with little resistance encountering cute lost, sad, lonely animals in their farms and earning multi-colored ribbons for achieving mastery in cultivation of multiple crops, Zynga.com, the developers of farmville have launched an Indian version of Farmville.

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UN effort to create International Anti-Terrorism Day ends in a stalemate

Geneva: A United Nations led effort to create an 'International Anti-Terrorism Day' resulted in a stalemate after member countries of the UN general assembly failed to reach a consensus on the choice of the day of the year to be observed as World Anti-Terrorism Day.

A motion to declare September the eleventh of every year as the day to mark International day against terrorism was tabled by US ambassador to the UN, Susan Rice. But the motion was opposed by Indian ambassador to UN, Nirupam Sen who urged members of the UN to vote for 26/11 as International Anti-Terrorism Day. "United States being the sole superpower of the world at the time of WTC attacks had marketed the 9/11 attacks better than us or any other country of the world that has suffered the scourge of terrorism. But now we are a rising power and have learnt to market our terror attacks to the world as effectively as US. In terms of sensation and headline-grabbing value, the 26/11 terror attacks onTaj Hotel were not less effective than the 9/11 attacks. We let a small bunch of Pakistani terrorists run amok for nearly 60 hours allowing TV channels from all over the world provide 'live' non-stop coverage of the event fueling unprecedented interest in the attacks in world media."

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IndiaTV discovers why Bakhtiyaar Irani cries so much

Onionuttapam.com ties up with IndiaTV to bring you the latest in Breaking News, Cracking News, Smashing News, Creative News, Weird News, Imaginary News, World-is-ending News, News-that-makes-you-roll-your-eyes, News-from-out-of-the-world, News-from-under-the-world, News-from-nowhere-world and News-from-beyond-the-world.

IndiaTV has solved the mystery of Bigg Boss 3 contestant, Bakhtiyaar Irani's incessant crying at the drop of the hat in comparison to the calmness and composure of his 3-year old son, Zeus Irani

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Sachin fan knows more about Sachin than his own self

With television channels, newspapers and Internet conversations abuzz with tributes, homages and eulogies dedicated to the celebration of 20 years of international cricketing life of the supreme master, the undisputed god of the game of cricket, Sachin Tendulkar, we experienced an uncontrollable urge to interview the phenomenal deity of our times. But since deities are not accessible to little-known obscure websites, the urge to question the great god of the game had to be diverted towards interviewing one of his devotees. Raghu Deshmukh is one such devotee, an ardent, impassioned fan of the cricketer and considers him as one of the all-time greatest legends to have walked on the face of the earth.

Delighted at being interviewed about the man he admires most in his life, Raghu soon launched into a long soliloquy outlining the qualities that make Sachin Tendulkar the epitome of magnificence. The interview turned out to be more boring than we had imagined with Raghu repeating the stuff we have read and heard countless times in thousands of articles, blogs, interviews, sound-bytes and cricket commentaries over the last two decades. Bored at his incessant recitations of paeans sung in the glory of his idol, we decided to change our tracks and started quizzing him..

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Austerity - Mukesh Ambani Ishtyle!

Anything our government can do, India's richest man can do it better. Recently in news for voluntarily deciding to take a hefty 66% pay-cut, Mukesh Dhirubhai Ambani has set a personal example of moderation. Not one to rest on his laurels, Mukesh Ambani is keen to take his austerity drive on an entirely new orbit. Yesterday evening at a press conference held at his company headquarters, Ambani announced a series of measures that will set new standards of austerity making him Asia's most austere billionaire.

"Our government has taken admirable measures to curb wasteful expenditure. In my view, not just ministers even corporate heads should travel economy. Taking a leaf out of our government's austerity drive, I've decided that from now onwards me and my wife will only travel by economy class. I'm going to create a special economy class in the luxury Airbus 319 jet that I had gifted to my dearest wife on her birthday. I, my wife and my kids will only travel using this section of our private jet." said Mukesh Ambani.

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